Padma Lakshmi Makes Yet Another Lachrymose Gay Man Cry...Uncle

Human vale of tears and Season One semifinalist Dave Martin is the latest armed combatant in the ongoing battle between Padma Lakshmi's outfits and the Gays' twinned senses of fashion and outrage. As we all know, it takes a lot to send Big Gay Dave over the edge, but Padma has accomplished the impossible. From his OutZone blog:

Padma is back as well and who is doing her wardrobe? She looks trampy, sorry but gotta speak my peace [sic].

And:

At the judges’ table, Padma talks about Sam’s sophisticated ceviche with popcorn, did she not see Season One when Harold made a similar dish? Whatever.

Meow! We say, Never put these two in the same dressing room at Barneys.

Big Gay Dave's take on the most passionate onscreen affair since Duel in the Sun and Shaving Ryan's Privates :

Marcel and Ilan start things off by going at it, big time....Marcel is back in the lab and making more foams and leading up to a French press explosion all over everything....Marcel and Ilan are still pissing on each other and both making desserts with chocolate in them.... Ilan slams Marcel at the dinner presentation....

Goodness, we need a moist towelette after that.

And finally:

Tom loves Sam’s dish, how unpredictable, not … and is it me or does he seem angrier than he was on Season One?

That's a double meow with a hair toss there. We're definitely your Amuse-Biatch, biatch.

His Name Was Dave Martin; He Was a Show, Girl!

We are, of course, delighted whenever we see news about Season 1 contestant Dave Martin, since, if you recall our very first post ever on this blog, he was the reason Amuse-Biatch was born in the first place. Well, that, and a quickie in the back seat of a Camry + a bottle of Shiraz + a broken condom + a Catholic grandmother who made us keep it.

But we digress.

We learned today from New York Magazine and Gawker that Lola, the New York restaurant for which walking gay tear duct Chef Dave will cook, has just gotten its liquor license, and will open in early February at its new, Soho location. We're not your bitch, bitch, but congratulations, Dave! Get us a Kleenex.

Lola, 15 Watts St., nr. Thompson St.; 212-675-6700.