The Black Hammer Strikes Again: Antonia Lofaso Tries to Eliminate Yet Another Competitor

Possums, we were as surprised as anyone to learn of Antonia Lofaso's deadly reputation as the Black Hammer. And now comes independent confirmation from Jonathan Gold, the Pulitzer Prize-winning restaurant critic for our local rag, the LA Weekly. Gold recently served as a judge in a cook-off between Lofaso and Los Angeles chef Fred Eric at the Taste of the Nation benefit for Meals on Wheels, and this is what went down:

Lofaso, after raising her hands over her head to acknowledge the crowd, somehow brought her chef’s knife down into Eric’s hand, where it plunged almost to the bone.

It was not an intentional move, at least no more intentional than the Celtic knee that found its way into Lamar Odom’s groin in game five of the NBA finals, but while Eric went to get taped up, Lofaso set to work on her competition dish, sautéing mushrooms, pan-roasting duck. After 15 minutes had passed, Eric strode to the front of the stage, stripped out of his street clothes to reveal a Lakers uniform underneath, and announced that he was going to prepare a raw-food dish with the provided juicer. “Eat it raw,” he said.

The crowd groaned; Eric seemed doomed. Lofaso appeared to be almost done cooking, and her food smelled great. Eric, tossing poblanos and habaneros into the juicer like so many carrots, had barely started, and what was coming out of his machine looked like sludgy wheatgrass juice. But when the buzzer sounded, and the first plates were put in front of us, Lofaso’s fresh spring rolls turned out to be the sort of thing you can find at any Asian small-plates café in Los Angeles, competently assembled but without a special spark. Eric brought out one of the most beautiful composed salads I have ever tasted, small lettuces and bright vegetables and willowy stalks of wild asparagus arranged into a rustic still-life, a Cornell Box of a salad held together by a brilliantly spicy lime-chile vinaigrette. He had literally spotted his opponent 15 minutes and competed with one arm behind his back, and he still won a unanimous decision.

Nice try, Antonia, possum. Just remember for next time: do it when there aren't so many witnesses around. It's Law & Order: Criminal Intent 101.

Pig Heaven: The Wednesday Press Roundup

Wednesday is food day, and not only because "Top Chef" is on. It's also the day the food sections in some our favorite publications come out.

Frank Bruni, the purple-prosed prince of sybarites at The New York Times, has returned from his Italian vacation with an ode to the pig. In the spirit of the piece, we illustrate this with an item from last Sunday's lunch, a rather nice queso de puerco, or head cheese, obtained from one of our local carnicerías.

Bruni, asking "Just How Good Can Italy Get?", answers his own question by praising his "kind of pig heaven," which "looks a lot like Bologna’s fatty heart." He then tantalizes us with the usual quasi-pornographic descriptions of prosciutto di Parma and culatello.

A little farther west, Auntie Irene at The Los Angeles Times reviews BLD, a breakfast, lunch and dinner place blessed with brioche French toast, "each slice easily two fingers high and wearing a ruffle of eggy batter," ricotta blueberry pancakes, "big crumbly buttermilk scones dotted with currants, cinnamon buns swirled with butter and cinnamon, and a wonderful Breton pastry called kouign amann." However, she's also got pig on the brain, praising "the cured pork products from Paul Bertolli at Fra' Mani, a new salumeria in Berkeley from the former Oliveto and Chez Panisse chef." Coincidentally enough, she also wrote about the glories of Italy and pigs last month, describing her dinner with Dario Cecchini, "the most famous butcher in Italy."

At the LA Weekly, Jonathan Gold extols the glories of duck fat and finally gets around to reviewing the uniquely Angeleno craze for Pinkberry frozen yogurt, "as pure and smooth and white as the Carrara marble from which Michelangelo carved his David, a perfection probably attained through the use of powdered nonfat milk, which is a Korean obsession. If you are what you eat, Pinkberry may be the ideal food."