Confidential to Ash Fulk

Jesus Christ and Liza with a Z Almighty, what the hell kind of a gay are you? Just what sort of bowtie-wearing homosexual is unable to pronounce the word “palazzo”? We wuz mortified on your behalf. Shame on you, “pal.” No seersucker palazzo pants for you. And don’t try to claim that as some kind of bear you wouldn’t wear them anyway. Bears do not wear bowties. You wear a bowtie. Therefore you are not a bear. The syllogayism should suffice.

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Show Toons: Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome, Now Get the Hell Out of Here

Be Our Gest: Amuse-Biatch Ponders How Anthony Bourdain Can Be Such a Bitch and Yet Straight

Well, possums, you've got to give the bitch and the devil their due.

From Anthony Bourdain's blog:

Well, what can I say about last night's episode? I sat down, like everybody else, baited breath, waiting to see who'd do well--and who would have to "pack their knives." I was also waiting to see which Rocco DiSpirito showed up. The breathtakingly-gifted, French-trained chef of three star Union Pacific fame? Or the "thatsa speecy, spicy meatball!" shill-for-hire and ex-reality show personality? I think we all now know the answer to that question. (Though for the first few moments, I thought David Gest had taken his place.)

Elia Aboumrad Bikini Shot

NOT!

To the chaps (or fabulous lesbians) who have washed up on the frivolous, parterred shores of this blog after Googling "elia aboumrad bikini shot" (and you know who you are, bless your libidinous little hearts), this is the best we could do for you.

Note the way the steam rises over her heaving, nubile young bosom and that fabulous champignon-colored, asymmetrical-neckline top (sorry, Nabokovian pervs, we couldn't keep up the charade for more than a few words; we felt like David Gest kissing Liza, or Tom kissing Katie).
Note to Padma: this is how you do sexy and body-conscious without looking whorish in the kitchen. This, pace Raggaydy Andy, is how you "look as white-hot as possible while tasting and discussing food."