Raggaydy Andy Responds: No Chlamydia On MY Watch

Well, possums, we just knew Raggaydy Andy wasn't the type to take it lying down.

Pushed against the wall--by yesterday's article in New York-- Raggaydy Andy took to his blog today to set things straight.

And we have to give him credit, because he found the article "pretty good and fair." Well, except for the part where, as we mentioned yesterday, the author revealed that cheftestants are prohibited from having sex with each other for fear that the seafood sausage may include more than one kind of crab. The only open sore Bravo wants to deal with, it seems, is Paula Abdul.

It's a policy that Raggaydy Andy stands ever so, so firmly behind. As he puts it,

"I feel pretty great that under our watch, you ain't allowed to 'do it' with another contestant. We're not the 'Real World' and we're not checking for STD's and we're just not in that game. If Tabs [Shear Design contestant Tabatha] gets herpes from another hairstylist that I helped cast, how am I gonna sleep at night!? Design all the dresses you want, but screw on your own clock. Or sign up to be on 'Temptation Island'."

Well, there goes our chance of another reality-show shower spanking in Miami, though we must say, they're coming awfully close to temptation, what with a hot tub and bikinis and booze. (And just out of curiosity, how can they prevent hooking up? If the cheftestants are left unsupervised and unfilmed after lights out--wasn't there a little after-hours head-shaving and misdemeanor battery at some point in the past?--how on earth can Bravo "Watch What Happens"? Inquiring minds want to know.

Lalalina Goes LaLa, Top Chef Sperm for Sale, STDs, and Other Secrets of Reality TV

Possums, the claws are out.

Just in time for lunch, and hot off the presses, is this cover story in New York Magazine about Bravo's reality tv programs, including, of course, Top Chef.

Among the dishy, Top Chef-related delights:

* At breakfast one morning a few weeks ago, Ilan Hall, the appealing winner of this past season’s Top Chef, confessed that he and his old girlfriend also split after the show. “She thinks it’s because women were coming up to me after the show,” he said. “Which happens. But it had nothing to do with it.”

* [Contestants] can’t even have sex with one another to pass the time. (An STD could result in a lawsuit—unlike hookup reality shows, the contestants aren’t tested beforehand for communicable diseases.)

* Sam [Talbot] had been in the running for The Bachelor.

* Like Michael Midgley, for example. “Mikey,” says Colicchio. “In the beginning, I was complaining, ‘What is this guy doing here?’ And the producers were saying, ‘Yeah, but wouldn’t it be great if he really could cook?’ And I’d say, ‘Yeah, it would be great. But he can’t.’ ”

* Yet back at Perilla, I discover that Harold has gotten plenty of invitations from non-foodies for his services, like the e-mail he recently got from a woman in her mid-forties from the Midwest. “She basically asked straight up if she could purchase some of my … DNA, I guess. Some seedlings,” he says. “That was awkward. I mentioned it to the fellow who helps me with specific events and stuff, and he was like, Oh my God, that’s the greatest idea ever! We’re gonna put it right on eBay!”

Read the full story for all the gory details, especially if you're a fan of Project Runway, though be sure to have a drink in hand, as some of the details are bound to make you sad.

Amuse-Biatch Shares Its "VD" with You -- Valentine's Day, That Is

Normally, we hate Valentine's Day, mostly because of all the people who say "ValentiMe's Day." However, this year is different, because we got a Valentine's Day card from reader Dianna, and we are only too happy to share it with you. And look, Mrs. Hall, proof that Ilan is straight!