Sunday, December 03, 2006

You Read Us, You Really Read Us!: Amuse-Biatch Has Its Hate-Mail Maraschino Popped

Frankly, darlings, we're a little disappointed it's taken so long.

For months now, we've been flouncing about, throwing shade and ten-dollar words like a Tennessee Williams virgin with the vapors and a too-tight corset underneath her chiffon gown. And yet that tin roof remained as cold as ice. No one, but no one, had seen fit to destroy our illusions in a tight white t-shirt and a nasal accent, or get them colored lights going, or hire Montgomery Clift to give us a lobotomy. The comments, when they came, were uniformly lovely and appreciative. Every day, when we returned from the salon, we sighed and asked, Isn't anybody gonna muss our hair?

And then today it happened. And just like a real first time, we never even knew it was happening. By the time we caught on, it was all over.

A reader who strongly disagreed with our opinions of Padma Lakshmi's outfits sent us a little billet-doux questioning our looks, our eyesight, our wardrobe and our charity. We were, and are, thrilled, tickled pink, and pleased as punch. At last, at long last. We are real bloggers at last.

Before this, we agreed with Melina Mercouri in singing, "You can dis me on a Wednesday, a Thursday, a Friday and Saturday is best. But never, never on a Sunday, a Sunday, a Sunday, cause that's my day of rest."

However, our whole outlook has changed. We now sing, "Oh, you can dis me on cool day, a hot day, a wet day, whichever one you choose/ Or try to dis me on a gray day, a May day, a pay day, and see if I refuse."

Thank you, Anon47. We will never, ever forget our first time.


Anonymous said...

An anonymous hate letter. I am totally absolutely jealous. Congrats, dahlings. You've made it to the big time. You know anons are the best because then folks feel free to really sock it to you.

Moi only receives nice-nice. Actually, I did receive one comment pointing out an ommission, but that simply doesn't count in view of your momentous event.

Charlus said...

Thank you so much, but it is we who are jealous. After all, what is an anonymous and mild hate letter compared with being quoted, and responded to, in Andy Cohen's blog, as you were? Now *that* is something to be jealous of. Kudos on that to you, cherie.

the Big Shamu said...

Welcome to the club ladies. Wait til you get the homophobic hate letters. Those are just extra special.

Java Junkie said...

Girls, we're so excited for you! We remember our first time as if it were yesterday...

Our motto is "Disparaging comments will not be removed, however, they will be graded..." Good job!

Anonymous said...

"compared with being quoted, and responded to, in Andy Cohen's blog"

I spelled grammar wrong (grammer). I moan, I cringe, I weep. This utter humiliated serves this non-spellchecker right.

Yours is the first blog I check after the two TC blogs (Hi big shamu and java junky. Keep up the great work!

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. Here we go again. Humiliation.