Sunday, February 11, 2007

Completely Heterosexual Otter Ilan Hall Gets Real About Reality & Epistemology, Falls Prey to Fideo-Eating "Hyperbola" Virus














In a companion piece to his mother's editorial on why people care so much about reality television and how unjustifiably mean people were to her baby boy, Ilan Hall talks to Newsday about: keepin' it real, how we can ever know what reality is, how Frank Terzoli's quest to promote cheeseball Italian stereotypes extended to singing opera on the set, how Michael "Beer Bong" Midgley gave the Roseanne Barr treatment to "The Star-Spangled Banner," the politics of the ladies' room, his bad reputation on the blogosphere, Marcel's sneakiness, and how (in hyperbole that would do the Bravo marketing department proud) the Bravo editors are like Michelangelo (who, of course, was straight). Here, as always, the cherce bits:

It's interesting to see what the editors decide to keep or leave out. There was a whole thing in the first episode of "Top Chef" where Michael got into an argument with Frank for singing opera. They made an agreement that if Michael would sing the entire national anthem perfectly, then Frank would stop singing. Michael is a natural comic and doesn't have the softest voice in the world. It was hilarious. We thought it would be entertaining for us as potential viewers, but it was never used.
...

[The editors] create situations that make you seem a little more conniving than you actually are. They don't show entire conversations that would explain why you are reacting in a certain way. They will cut out encouragement or instigation from other contestants. But I would say the editors' work is like Michelangelo's. He felt that the final sculpture was already inside the stone, and his work was to bring it out. The editors are polishing off bits they feel are unnecessary. They are sculpting this world from many hours of shooting.

...

They kept me saying some nasty things and cut away some nice things, because they wanted to make it more compelling to watch. But they never put words in my mouth. What you saw on TV was me, just an edited me. I didn't feel self-conscious during the filming, but you always know the camera is there. Sometimes you can find ways to sneak around it. The other finalist, Marcel, was a master at avoiding saying nasty things on camera. When we saw the show on TV, we thought, "What about all the stuff he said the second the camera turned away?" The portrayal of him is what he wanted it to be. Viewers think he's a little annoying, but he's really much more difficult to get along with.

11 comments:

hatetheplaya said...

Personally I am SO f-in tired of the ba-lame game! Get off of it already Ilan! So, Marcel was the only chef that said "bad things" off camera??? Come f-in on, you are a little wiener in search of his bun!

kbryna said...

well, i've read better writing in the freshman comp classes I've taught ("Prom was the greatest night of my life and i will never forget it!!!"). but old Ilan here sounds a bit more like the Ilan I fell in love with prior to episode six.

Of course, all along I was happy having a "celebrity" crush on him because I figured he was gay. and gay celeb crushes are the best (rufus wainwright is my #1) because you REALLY KNOW there's just no way it could ever happen.

i think the moment that sealed the gayness deal for me with Ilan was when he called someone (betty?) sweetheart. he said "thank you, sweetheart."
and it was gay.

marcel is a sly bastard and i don't doubt he was snarky off-camera. doesn't excuse the head-shaving-assault or some of the other nastiness the other "chefs" doled out, though...

Anonymous said...

Three points:

1) Ilan is a closeted homosexual leather-boi bottom.

2) Good to see you came up with an column that doesn't contain FACTUAL ERRORS.

3) I forgot point three.

Z

hughman said...

my main complaint is why would the "editors" overlook the "marcel is a trouble making jerk" issue for the "ilain is a bully" angle? perhaps because one is more obvious?. drama is drama. if the "editors" took sides in their "michelangelo" wisdom, wouldn't they have chosen the one with more validity?

Cardamon said...

It's interesting to note that in post-show interviews, Ilan, Elia, Sam, etc. STILL come off as jerks, while Marcel has taken the high road. Can't blame that on editing, can you?

Will Ilan EVER stop whining?

Anonymous said...

My feeling is that Ilan is another bisexual who believes that coming off straight is easier than to express his gay side... but the boy still can't help but wear his head scarves and hoodies (which look very fem to me), bitch about another guys hair because it's more interesting than his.. and brag about his "fat" girlfriend (talking about your girl and insulting her at the same time is a real indicator). Gay, bi or straight, Ilan just needs to mature, get over his passive-agressive tendencies and attend anger management classes.

Anonymous said...

That's some interesting career strategy - insult the show that got him fame and fortune and its fans. Can Ilan Hall be the stupidest reality show winner ever? Sure seems like it from here.

Anonymous said...

Plus he hasn't received his $$ YET? Maybe they're reconsidering it, due to his Bravo editing trash talking interviews and editorials, his unpopularity, and last but not least, using Casa Mono menu dishes in the finale or previous episodes???

Jeff said...

Still laughing about "otter." Hadn't heard that before.

You learn so much on the Internet.

Anonymous said...

One can only hope they might jettison this stool sample.

Anonymous said...

He started the leaks. F&W just sealed the deal. They should come down on him as an example to the other reality show wannabe fame whores.