Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Amuse-Biatch Plays Catch-Up: The Tom Colicchio Report

We've been remiss, we know. And neglectful. And cold and withholding. It's all true.

Call it a relapse.

But therapy, snark and the bottle are our solution, our version of rum, sodomy and the lash, and we intend to do our best to make up for our absence and our bender. Call this the period of $12.99 red rose bouquets from Conroy's.

First, let's catch up with the capo dei capi, the top of Top Chefs himself, Tom Colicchio, who has a lot to celebrate this week.

First, he has just been nominated for a James Beard Award for Outstanding Chef. Not too shabby. (Top Chef as a whole did well in the James Beard Award nominations. Guest judge Lee Hefter of Spago was also nominated for Outstanding Chef, the New York outpost of L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon [helmed by Marcel Vigneron's boss] was nominated for best new restaurant, the restaurant Terra [owned by Seasone One guest judge Hiro Sone] was nominated for Best Service, guest judge Wylie Dufresne was nominated for Best Chef - New York City, and guest judge Michelle Bernstein was nominated for Best Chef - South.)

Most inexplicably, and best of all, Tom will also be the guest judge on this week's episode of Top Design on Bravo, in the usual Top Chef spot, tomorrow, Wednesday, at 10 p.m. Why? Some call it synergy. Some call it cross-promotion. Others just call it wankery (and we suspect Tom's eyebrows will be saying that).

We confess to being a bit worried for Tom, though. Judge Kelly Wearstler's outfits are so hideous, so positively over the top, that as we've pointed out on Pink Navy, she has left Padma Lakshmi in the dust in the running of the Fug Cup. It's been several months since the filming of the Top Chef finale, but we fear that having to sit next to Kelly and her outfit may trigger an outbreak of Post-Traumatic Dress Disorder in Tom. We hope they have the paramedics handy on that one. And look for him to fight eyebrow duels with Jonathan Adler. Start placing bets now.


Anonymous said...

"Post-Traumatic Dress Disorder"


egyptchick7 said...

While I do read Pink-Navy, I don't do it so religiously as this blog. Mainly bc there werent so many scandalous, dramatic things on Top Design that I really needed to get a biatch fix. HOWEVER...I am soooooo freaking happy that you noticed Kelly Whoresters Whorendous ugly scary outfits. Padma's outfits have NOTHING on hers!!

This past episode was the most horrible thing I ever seen. I would love a link(s) of your analysis on her outfits...bc I can't seem to find them :(

I love y'all biatches :)

egyptchick7 said...

Oh and if that weren;t enough..I just checked out her wiki....1994 plamate of the month?????

Im sure y'all spotted it ...goddamn!

Anonymous said...

Watched the show for the first time this week. Wearstler could have a great fashion-sense and I'd still find that VOICE incredibly annoying.

3 of the dining rooms were hideous.

Marius said...

I miss Padma.

Anonymous said...

How can it be that in the whole of the Pacific Design Center there was not another set of matching dining chairs?

Could it be that Top Design has only 2 cooperating design showrooms and that their chairs were taken by Matt and Andrea? 'Tis a mystery.

Anonymous said...

Tom wore black loafers with no socks. A major no-no.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I noticed he didn't wear sox and also looked like his feet were too big for his shoes. His feet kept coming off of his shoes.

roorooB said...

Chef Colicchio v. Monsieur Adler?

Even if I hadn't seen the episode (riveted throughout) I would have to bet on the capo dei tutti capi.

In a walk.


Anonymous said...

I also noticed when Tom Colicchio was on Bravo's interior design show that he didn't wear socks. Does he never wear socks? What's the deal with not wearing socks? Socks are good.