Thursday, July 26, 2007

Cookus Interruptus: Amuse-Biatch Looks Back More in Sorrow Than in Anger

Possums, have you ever been on a bad date?

Let's say you go out with someone and they invite you back to their apartment (pardon our use of the third-person plural pronoun, but we're trying to make this universal).

You kiss for a little bit, and the first kiss turns out to be good.

Subsequent kisses, however, turn out to be bland and boring, and you find yourself looking at your watch behind their head as you kiss.

Then the boring kissing is interrupted while they take a "break." And then they come back, and the kissing resumes, and gets a tad better.

And then the kissing stops again, because your date pulls out their photo album and insists you sit on the couch with them and look at their stupid vacation photos and talk about what a great person your date is.

What would you do at this point, possums? Would you stay in the hopes that the kissing would resume and get better once the damned photo album got put away, and, heck, maybe even get to second base? Or would you decide it wasn't worth it, walk out, go home and take matters into your own hands, as it were?

That's exactly how we felt last night watching "Watch What Happens" (though we weren't nearly as angry as New York Magazine restaurant critic Adam Platt, who referred to Raggaydy Andy as "the goofball in the tan suit," which might make a nice companion piece to The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit).

We fail utterly to see the purpose of this reunion special. We're not against reunion specials as a rule; neither do we insist that they turn into drunken free-for-alls. But reunion specials logically take place at the end of the season. This one had a whiff of last-minute scrambling, and not in the Mickey-and-Judy, hey-kids-let's-put-on-a-show way. Our best guess is that something must have happened. Perhaps Bravo simply needed more time to edit some oomph into the remaining episodes, and to prepare for the shooting of the live finale in Aspen, Colorado.

At least that's what we hope. We'd hate to think it was just sheer idiocy on their part (though that cry-for-euthanasia that is Paula Abdul's show certainly begs the question, They shoot horse's asses, don't they?)

Hey, Paula, er, Bravo, watch what happens when you fuck with your audience.


frogboots said...

i tried to watch but only made it through about 15 minutes.

i HATE andy cohen.
and Ilan made me want to throw up.

and WHY was CLIFF back???

horrors, all around.

Ms. Place said...

I'm the only blogger in this little circle of blogger fun that gave this show a positive spin. There must be a happy virus circulating around my town because my two co-snarkers at work found this show ok too. It's a matter of degrees. The other reunion shows were so piss poor awful, that it made this one seem bearable.

Then again, I might have had too much to drink.

Anonymous said...

Lia looked hot. The show was good.

The Big Shamu said...

You know I was at a total loss when I couldn't conjure up one visual image except a large dung beetle rolling his little ball of dung around. And that didn't occur to me until today.
Is the final in Miami or Aspen?

wardo said...

I just want to know if anyone else noticed how every time the camera caught Gail, they gave her the same soft focus reserved for the likes of Barbara Walters and Joan Collins. What's up with that?

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Truthfully, I felt embarrassed that I was watching it. I felt that I was at some awful fraternity party with some lame game of truth or dare. Andy has the frat boy smile and a smarmy vibe.

Good lord, 3 years later and the slaves of the Bravo contractual agreement are paraded and prodded again.

The tux was ridiculous.

Shannon said...

I reckon they are going to try to stretch this season out until November or so... when the next season of Project Runway starts, perhaps?

I wish the new season was as good as the writing in your blog.

ArtfulSub said...

Newsflash: They've been "fucking with" their core-audience for 2 years. "What's happened" is that you all still watch every bit of drivel the network produces.

Anonymous said...


FemDom? This this mean you like to have your ass kicked by Women?

Marius said...

Great post!

You know, you may be right; Bravo probably put this little reunion thing together at the last minute. That actually explains a lot. Too many great characters (chefs) were missing. It could have been much more entertaining.

Anonymous said...

I agree, I think this show was a last minute "filler" becausue something happened to the episode which was advertised to air Wednesday.
Like, wasn't Rocco D supposed to be on the next episdoe? I thought we saw a "next on Top Chef?"

trixie said...

Fabulous analogy!

Following that thread I'd say that this show probably needs some Viagra.

Anonymous said...

i agree, andy is ridiculous.

i actually don't mind cliff as much as the sam/ilan twins. while cliff was the most physically involved in the marcel incident, he's also been the most repentant and refrained from snapping at marcel while sam and ilan continue to act like petty brats.

and i agree, lia looked amazing.

Christine said...

My kingdom to someone who posts a video clip of Elia doing her Padma impression...that was HILARIOUS!