Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Dispatches from the Department of the Obvious: Cockeyed Hawkeye Dale Levitski Experienced at Handling Buns

As thrilled as we were, possums, to discover this little tidbit in Dale's "hometown" newspaper, the Daily Herald (hailed, by itself, as "Suburban Chicago's Information Source"), we were also a little disheartened, because such "hometown paper" stories usually mean the cheftestant is getting pykagged that very night.

(The Judges' Table dressing-down in the preview about scented candles, which Dale appears to be guilty of placing on the tables, also feeds our misgivings.) As much as we would love the opportunity for a "top to bottom" headline pun about last week's victor in the "Win a Date with Govind Armstrong!" contest, the pun would be poor consolation for losing Dale.

Let us, instead, be optimistic, and focus on what else "Suburban Chicago's Information Source" can tell us besides the fact that Dale "flipped burgers in college" (which, as Miss XaXa points out, should give us hope, since tonight's Quickfire Challenge is about burgers, and judged by the creator of the "World's Most Expensive Burger," Daniel Boulud).

So, what other hard news is there? Well:

* Dale attended Prospect High School in Mt. Prospect, Illinois (the same school that graduated Bruce Boxleitner), and was in the Russian Club.

* The University of Iowa was where Dale "flipped burgers," which, as Miss XaXa helpfully explained, makes him a Hawkeye Dale's other activity at Iowa? "[B]eing a varsity diver." "Dale in a Speedo?!" shrieked Miss XaXa. "How come we haven't seen that at the hot tub? Now that's sexist."

We certainly hope we're wrong, but we fear that Nguyendy City might be one step closer to reality after tonight.

1 comment:

Ms. Place said...

Of course the symptoms of bad taste have been on view all along: high tide pants. Our Dale verified my suspicions by choosing black tablecloths (can't bleach those suckers clean) and scented candles. What next? A beaded curtain entry?