Thursday, September 20, 2007

All We Don't Need Is Love: The Gospel According to Gail Simmons

Goodness, possums, it seems there was a new episode of Top Chef last night. Can you believe it?

This reality-television anabasis has been dragging on for so long that we very nearly forgot.

We look upon October 3 as soldiers look upon the end date of their tour of duty.

Although this season may not actually be longer than last season (we can't be bothered to check the dates to confirm), it certainly feels that way. It's not that the season is terrible--it isn't, and in many ways it's an improvement on last season. And yet there's nonetheless something bland and undercooked at the core.

Thank goodness for sleek, glossy-lipped, feline-eyed, vixenish General Simmons, who in her report to Congress--er, blog--puts her finger on one of the major problems:

I too must remind myself on occasion that most challenges are not meant to be team efforts, are not meant to prove your ability to play nice. They are meant to be competitive, to test each chef’s skill and speed. It drove us crazy at times how lovey-dovey the cast could be and how easily they forgot that, at the end of the day, there is only room for one winner. But not Hung. In this instance especially, I applaud his choice to keep his secrets to himself, even if it meant frustrating the others. He worked hard to execute that dish well and it paid off with a win.

Exactly, Miss Gail. It nearly drove us crazy, too.

And you know what, possums? We still don't understand what the other cheftestants were doing sitting around the table trying collectively to gather tips on how to make the classic Le Cirque dish (and we were nearly driven out of our minds by hearing everyone pronounce it "Le Sirk"; Douglas Sirk and Le Cirque are both fabulous, but one thing they're not is homonyms). The bottom line is--it's not cool to try to copy the smart Asian kid's homework, and we, for one, are glad that he metaphorically leaned over his desk and covered his paper. Gong Li would be proud.


Anonymous said...

I found it especially inexplicable how the other contestants seemed to expect Hung to tell them how to prepare the quickfire dish in last night's episode.

The Big Shamu said...

This season is long. Very long. Clay and Micah too long. Watch What Happens, Ilan, I still don't have a job too long.
We need a Hung-like editor to trim away the bloat, with which we will then pair with a nice Bombay Sapphire
Check Please!

Ms. Place said...

Hung has never forgotten: this is a competition. Though some of his decisions might come back to bite him in the finale.

Yeah, Shamu, we could have done without a couple of chefs and reunion shows.

Miss XaXa said...

I just want those strappy heels! Miss Gail is fierce this season!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Next week,
If they are out with some old gold rush miner cooking on campfire in Aspen I might have to scream rather loudly.

Anonymous said...

¡Ay, Caramba!, is that photo of Gail smokin' hot! No wonder the ice caps are melting!

Theresa said...

They've eliminated 11 people, and it's taken 16 weeks to do it.

And we've got two more weeks to go!

I'm tired...