Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Amuse-Biatch Big-Thumbs-Up, Sapphic Photoessay: Even Cowgirls Get the Yellows

And apropos of cowgirl-on-cowgirl action, here is another classic Sapphic moment, Miss Doris Day playing the title character in Calamity Jane--and what the hell was HBO thinking when it cancelled Deadwood?--and singing "My Secret Love." (Notice how, once atop the, er, mount, Doris and Padma's yellow girl have the same wide stance.)

Finally, a lesbian conflagration of epic proportions: Johnny Guitar, where Joan Crawford and Mercedes McCambridge (the voice of Satan in The Exorcist) go butch-a-butch and mano a mano, especially after Joan spurns Mercedes for a man. The best part is the last minute or so, when Mercedes becomes a pyromaniac and lets you know in no uncertain terms that you. do. not. ever. ever. ever. mess. with. a. lesbian. If we close our little lesbo-fantasist, cinematically cross-pollinated eyes, we can almost hear Mercedes warning Joan that she will suck cock in hell.

On a slightly different (not really) note of not-so-secret love, possums, you should, if you get the chance, watch Raggaydy Andy's Bravo-website interview cum slumber party with Padma, Gail Simmons, and Tom Colicchio, during which Padma reaffirms her continued attraction to Stephanie Seymour. Forget the fact that, in our professional judgment, Raggaydy Andy's question is hopelessly convoluted. It still boils down to, "Whom would you sleep with if your partner gave you permission?" Padma says that her answer hasn't changed. But, let us not forget that Padma is no longer a married woman, and no longer needs permission. So...Padma meet Stephanie meet the fantasies of hetero and lesbian foodies everywhere.

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