Losing Gorilla Goes Bananas, Throws Feces

It's true, possums, that, given her diminutive size, Valerie Bolon is more spider monkey than gorilla, but we certainly can't blame her for throwing feces. To go from being in the top three in the Quickfire Challenge to being ousted in a diabolical plot straight out of Heathers or Mean Girls--she was done wrong!

Take a look at what she told our pals at Grub Street:

You seemed unhappy when Antonia [Lofaso] said she hypothetically would hire Stephanie over you based on your dishes, even though she hadn’t tasted yours.
It was completely unfair. At the event, one of the first things she said to me when our time was over was, “I didn’t get a chance to taste your dish.” She literally said those words. I think she just got along with Stephanie better. It was a personal thing. She liked Stephanie better, so she said she would have picked her dish. I was definitely not happy about that at all.

Why did you make the blinis in advance?
That wasn’t even my idea, initially. It was Antonia’s. And it was her recipe, in fact. She said, “I’ve got this great recipe for these blinis.” I felt like I got thrown under the bus for it.

So it was a team decision?
Not at one point did we stop and say, “Wait, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Wait, what are we doing? Maybe this isn’t going to hold up.” Watching the show last night, I felt like, maybe [Antonia] did that on purpose. But then again, I should have realized that that wasn’t such a good idea.

So, let's see. It was Antonia's idea, Antonia's recipe, and Antonia intentionally let her continue with the bad idea. Is it us, or does that distinctly sound like "Bitch set me up"?

Continuing with the feces-throwing, Valerie told our pal Sabrina at YumSugar that she was joining the ABA--Anybody But Antonia:

YS: Who do you think could win the season? Are you rooting for anyone in particular?
VB: Any of those people can do it, but I'm rooting for Stephanie, she's one of my closest friends. It would be nice to have a female win it this year. Although I don't want Antonia — everyone else but her.

YS: You don't want Antonia to win because of the blinis?
VB: Well, we didn't get on so well. Sometimes you just don't mesh well. I consider myself to be pretty personable and get along with almost everyone. But hearing some of the things she had to say about me were just, wow. We didn't hit it off that well and I felt like she sold me down the river.

Meow! So Antonia came between Valerie and one of her closest friends, and plotted and then got rid of her with mispronounced blinis? And to make it worse, Antonia was just as guilty of mispronouncing "blini" and also made a lamb dish for a vegetarian animal and didn't get called out on it by the judges? So unfair! We can't wait for the reunion show. Antonia had better wear shin guards.