Friday, November 21, 2008

Jill Snyder’s Heartbreaking Cri de Cœur: I’m Unskilled Because I’m American!

Oh dear, Lon Guyland patriot Danny Gagnon is sure to be gaggin’ on this.

Sure, from the mid-calf down, the lanky lass is all red, white, and blue. But this daughter of the Liberty Bell state and resident of the city that gave birth to “The Star-Spangled Banner” tells a different story when she opens her pillowy lips. As she related to our pals at Grub Street:

You know, if I lived in Italy my whole life, I’d probably have a lot of skill, too.

Aw snap, Betsy Ross.

But don’t worry, possum, we believe you. You lost the New American cuisine challenge because you didn’t grow up in Italy. What could be more logical?

Is it any wonder that she is contemplating becoming an actress? (We do give her points for joking that she’s going to buy an ostrich farm.)


Buzz Kill said...

Well, she's no brain surgeon (as evidenced by the way she packed her knives - I thought she was going to lay her hand open). I bet she'd be a party for a day or two. She even knows how to cook breakfast.

MissLee said...

The light-bulb in her Easy-Bake Oven never came on.

brian said...

What a goofball. New American = quiche. But she didn't make it very well because she's not Italian.

KristineB said...

Buzz Kill, I noticed that too. I actually cringed. I also thought she looked a little like an ostrich.