Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Sacrificial Lamb

Well, possums, we cannot lie. We and Martha Stewart are delighted, albeit for different reasons, to see Ariane Duarte go. We were enchanted by the symmetry of the whole thing. Lamb was the first thing she cooked on the show, and also the last, but this time around, the rascal lamb did not redeem her.

As the Mitford sisters would have put it, we roared when, at Judges’ Table, an audibly exasperated Tom Colicchio said, “She doesn’t know how to butcher leg of lamb; what is she doing here?”

Uh, Tom, funny you should ask that. It seems to us that what she’s doing there is gathering wins and accolades from you, and being symptomatic of a season with a lower talent quotient. Y'all chose her; you should know.

Ariane broke down the lamb, yes, but she also broke down. Have a look at her exit interview, the good bits of which we’ve transcribed for you.

“Leah was not a good team player, and neither is Hosea. He’s a wimp. He’s crying, he’s nervous, nervous, nervous when we’re waiting to go to Judges’ Table, with his tail between his legs…I don’t hold grudges, life’s too short, and that’s how I left ‘em. And you know what? What goes around comes around.

Leah is a young girl [contemptuous laugh]. She’s a party girl, she likes to have a good time, she likes to be the center of attention. She can cook, no doubt about it. She’s never wowed me. And she’s got a lot of growing up to do.”

“Um,” Miss XaXa interrupted, “isn’t that the pot calling the kettle…”

“More like mutton addressing lamb.”


Anonymous said...

I was surprised they sent Ariane packing. At least she did something. Leah was useless...other than throwing herself at Hosea and messing up the tying of the lamb, which was also roundly criticized.

Bad call by the judges but like Ariane said, What goes around comes around. Hosea and especially Leah are not around much longer.


Buzz Kill said...

BRAVO gave Hosea so much face time last night I thought he was a goner for sure. Ariane has been skating by for a while and it's about time she was gone, but I think the judges got it wrong. It should have been Leah that got PYKAGed. She was absolutely the weak part of this team challenge. She did almost nothing and wasn't able to help Ariane with her lamb problem.

And is it me or does Ariane look like she's giving a prison interview. She looks like she's wearing a prison jump suit.

Anonymous said...

Given the clip from next week's preview of Hosea and Leah having some "private time," I wonder if they cut Ariane just to see if they could get more relationship footage out of the two. Granted, Ariane did screw up, but so did Hosea and Leah, and Leah was definitely the weakest of the three. She should've been eliminated instead.

Anonymous said...

It is about time that Ariane was sent packing. She had the least culinary skills of anyone there, her two elimination wins and one quickfire win notwithstanding. How can a chef (much less a prospective "Top Chef") not know how to butcher a leg of lamb or even tie it?? Here's a thought...if you don't know how to use a single piece of twine to continuously tie the meat, how about a number of interrupted ties (speaking as a surgeon)? It is NOT hard. She has no creativity and skated by simply cooking proteins (roast the turkey, sear and roast the lamb, saute the skate, etc). When she was deemed the winner of the wedding shower with the Indian-spiced lamb, her only contribution was searing and cooking the protein which even she admitted was simple. The flavor profiles and the concept of the dish came from Jamie and Radhika. The dish Martha chose as the winner was supposed to be a one pot meal...her "winner" used a grill! It was a grilled steak over a cauliflower puree. And I don't see how a salad of tomatoes and watermelon requires any creativity. Yeah, it's about time she got booted.

Anonymous said...

Why does Ariane always look like she just rolled out of bed during these interviews?

Anonymous said...

"It is about time that Ariane was sent packing. She had the least culinary skills of anyone there, her two elimination wins and one quickfire win notwithstanding."


I didn't like the Jersey cougar. Never mind all the times she won, she sucked!

Anonymous said...

Ariane had the least culinary skills?? I liked her, though not a huge fan, but she had skills. It takes talent to know how to properly cook meat, that's the easiest thing to f*ck up in a kitchen. Leah should have been PYKAG'd, no doubt. I just don't get all the Ariane haters, she was a solid chef.

Anonymous said...

Nah, you ninny queens, Ariane of the three deserved to stay. As for Jamie, you may love her dearly, but to much of the viewing audience she comes across as an arcane blend of lethargic and arrogant.

Leah's the worst of the bunch.

Anonymous said...

Although Ariane was inconsistent within the parameters of the show, the New York Times gave her restaurant 3 1/2 stars...not bad. She does some things well, others not so well, but doesn't take criticism well at all.

Big Shamu said...

I'm with Buzz Kill, what's up with the prison jumpsuit? Did they catch Ariane while she was filming an episode of Snapped?

Anonymous said...

"I'm with Buzz Kill, what's up with the prison jumpsuit? Did they catch Ariane while she was filming an episode of Snapped?" Yeah, I think the sacrificial lamb might be rabid.