Friday, August 21, 2009

Top Chef “Yes, We Have No Bananas” Shocker: Lesbian Falls into Semiotic Trap!

Who, you? Yes, you.

It’s no use looking shocked and sheepish. You’ve been found out. How, Preeti, possum, how do you fall into these semiotic traps?

First came the encounter with the Sorting Hat at the start of the Quickfire Challenge, in which you showed the world just how lucky and satisfied your girlfriend—pardon us, your “lady”—must be.

Even your fellow member of this season’s Team Rainbow, who ought to know a thing or two about AshFulk-ing, looks impressed with your technique, the just-so curve of the hand.

Then came the Quickfire Challenge itself, during which you repeatedly admitted that you’d never opened a clam before, which prompted us to yell at the television, “Go on, pull the other one. It’s got bells on it.”

But it wasn’t until we reviewed the premiere episode carefully that we noticed how you’d slipped on a metaphorical banana peel and fallen into the biggest lesbian semiotic trap of all.

Oh, possum, how could you? Didn’t you know that there are cameras everywhere, and that those horrible, basement-dwelling bloggers, who suffer from dirty minds and compulsive screencapping, would be ever at the ready? On the other hand, it was your first day on the show, indeed your first hour, so we’ll cut you a little slack.


Anonymous said...

Is "Preeti" the word for "Butch-ugly" in the Hindi language?

I mean, come on.

Venu Fly Trap Robin is nothing to look at, but she is a godess compared to some of the other female contestants on this season (I am looking at you Jesse - and stop sucking on your lip piercings).

Jennifer Zavala has the scariest tatoos in the history of hot tempered chefs who can't cook. And Ashely Merriman must be taking male hormone injections in anticipation of her sex change operation coming this fall.

No wonder Jennifer Carrol is this season's hottie. Because......well....she is a hot blonde, and.....she doesn't have too much competition either.

I only wish she and Stefan competed on the same season. They definitely would have had a cat fight, and then ended up in the sack together.

Fresca said...

The hell? Is there some rule against lesbians eating bananas?

Charlus said...

Due to their high potassium content, bananas are a recommended part of every lesbian's diet. But eat them on camera? Never!