First Reaction: We Are Not Amused

Miss Xaxa, being a fiercely independent woman, will have her own take on last night's premiere episode of "Top Chef: Season 2," but the Amuse-Biatch will deign to quote Queen Victoria and say, "We are not amused."

Just as our various degrees taught us to do, we will, of course, extract meaning, narrative cohesion, and bitchery from the show as if extracting meat from lobster claws, but such in-depth analysis will have to wait for a moment of leisure, as some of us still toil in the fleur de sel mines to earn our daily pain rustique.

We won't deny that some small part of our reaction may be due to the lateness of the hour, as well as lingering resentment from the "Project Runway" finale. We retire to our canopied Directoire bed at a sensible hour, what with the fleur de sel mines awaiting, and our policy, applied equally to dating, is this: If you're gonna make us stay up until midnight, it had better be worth it. Sad to say, this episode did not so much as stir our crème anglaise, though our vice anglais is another matter.

Which is why we will say this much as concerns the very raison d’être of this blog: at least this time, we won't have to make any "top" chef cracks about the gay contestant, as it looks like Carlos' portobello (and he is bello, isn't he?) is grilled on both sides.