Ugh! Where do I begin? The clothes! The hair! That bizarre speech pattern! You are boring me to tears!
Miss XaXa’s first reactions:
1) Riding boots in the kitchen? I don’t even know where to begin with this. Darling, don’t you know that Laura Bennett is the only person who can pull off wearing riding boots on a Bravo reality show?
2) A too-tight bra at an early-morning fish market? A most unwise move. It makes you look like you have gills on your back.
3) And a hoochie skirt to judge a benefit to feed the poor!?!
4) Braided pig-tails on a woman over 30!?! There are no words; see example pictured above for reference.
You are wasting this opportunity to show the fashion-challenged how it’s done. Or have you’ve entered into an agreement with Glamour magazine to be this season's example of what women should not be caught dead wearing? Are you trying to be he ultimate fashion “don’t”?
5) And why..... do.... you... speak.... the...... way... you.... speak? If you’re trying to be thought smart, speaking slowly is not the way to go about it. I had SO much hope for you, yet I am already bored to tears with this season. Can I survive? I'm afraid Beyoncé couldn't survive this season! But seriously boys, girls and bitches, being hoochie-fied at a “feed the people” benefit!?! The poor have enough troubles without having to be hoochie-fed on top of it.