Thursday, December 28, 2006
Try, if you can, to tear your eyes away from the appliqué patterns on Padma's sleeve. (If you turn your head 27 degrees to the left, stand on your right foot, and squint at Padma's sleeve, you will discover what Dan Brown and the Church have been trying to hide for millennia--that it wasn't Audrey Tautou, but Sir Ian McKellen, who was the direct descendant of Jesus, because Mary Magdalen was actually John the Baptist in drag [like Nathan Lane in The Birdcage, with Jesus taking the Robin Williams role], and that the Last Supper was served on Fiestaware, of which Leonardo Da Vinci was the first great collector).
Now focus, if you will, on the "attractively" tanned man to the left of Obama-like Top Chef mentor write-in candidate Ted Allen. Who is that man? Is it Ted Allen's boyfriend, or another character actor on Studio 60? Do tell us if you know.