We complained last week that the "red carpet," "celebrity-studded," "holiday party" featured on the "holiday episode" of Top Chef featured no actual celebrities on the red carpet.
We did mention a chap in a retina-searing orange shirt whom we referred to as fat Lance Bass. A reader has written in to inform us that, actually, it's the chap from the David Spade-starring (hey, he's gotta pay for Heather Locklear's steak dinners somehow) Capitol One television commercials, you know the one, the squealing, homoerotically-tortured, fat Lance Bass lookalike.
Thank you, Gentle Reader, for the info. In the absence of a picture, a screen cap, or a name for Fat Lance Bass from Capitol One, we have posted a picture of a non-fat, but still squealing and homoerotically-tortured Lance Bass, with ex-Air-Force-captain-cum-coattail-ahem-rider Reichen Lehmkuhl (pronounced "Lameculo" in Spanish-speaking countries). Help us out if you want the real thing on here.