Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Rachael Ray Stumps for Heifer Organization; Loogie-Loving Hubby Tells Her to Put on Some Clothes

We swear we don't subscribe to OK! Magazine.

It just so happens that Miss XaXa nicked one from the hair salon, and we were delighted to find in its glossy, large-format pages an interview with the Clydesdale Horse of the Apocalypse, none other than our beloved multimillionaire-woman-done-wrong-by-hubby-who-loves-paying-women-to-spit-on-him, Ms. Rachael Ray.

As part of the holiday spirit, as our gift to you, Amuse-Biatch hereby presents the choicest bits from the OK! interview. It's our way of giving you all the liquor-filled chocolates in the Whitman's Sampler box. That's how much we like you, Gentle Readers. Our comments are in brackets, in bold, and in red.

Q: Do you have a dream gift?
A: I don't want anything. I love it when my dog, Isaboo, gets a new chew toy. My family always gives me animals through the Heifer [International] organization. It's a charity where you buy tractors or animals like geese, ducks, goats or cows for villages around the world. I'll get some more barnyard animals I'm sure.
After Rachael admits that she was a cheerleader in high school, OK! comes back with the hard-hitting questions:

Q: Did you keep your pom-poms?
A: No, I didn't keep any of it.
[We beg to differ. Her pompoms look, per Lindsay Lohan, quite "adequite."]
Q: Your husband must be disappointed!
A: Actually, John doesn't groove on any of that stuff.
[Apparently he just grooves on being spit on by possible lesbians.] On our honeymoon, I put on a
Cosabella nightie and he said, "What the hell are you wearing? Go put on your pajamas."
[We just don't have the heart to make a joke; it's Christmas, people, give us a break.]

1 comment:

Dave Patterson said...

Charlus, saw Rachael's mention of Heifer. I joined Heifer as new media director last year and really appreciate it when someone blogs about us.

We have a new BlogRaising program that lets bloggers like you help us get the word out about Heifer and raise the money we need to do our work. To learn more, just go to

I hope you are able to take part.

Again thanks for the good words.