Amuse-Biatch Photoreportage: Miss XaXa Lives La Vida Loca at the Hi-Life Cafe with Alex, Er, Carlos Fernandez

Possums, that rumbling you hear out of the Southeast? It might be too early for hurricane season, but not for Hurricane XaXa, who is fuming at Anthony Bourdain's comments about her chulo chef, Carlos "Not Alex" Fernandez. It's a good thing Bourdain is not within throwing distance, or she would take his eye out with the heel of her Louboutins.

At any rate, Miss XaXa drove six hours on Saturday for a taste of the hi-life at Chuck and Carlos' restaurants. A full report will be forthcoming, but here, to whet your appetite, is a little photoreportage amuse-bouche.

















Basking in the glow of the light off the tangerine sorbet walls of the Hi-Life Cafe, and one step closer to her life's ambition, Miss XaXa whispers to Carlos Fernandez through clenched teeth, "So, are you gonna go straight, or am I gonna have to do some damage?"



















Chivalrous Kyle the bartender, adept at keeping ladies company and plying them with booze and witticisms.


















Two regulars send themselves into giggles by teasing Carlos whenever he walks by: "Carlos, pack your knives and go." And because Carlos is a man with a sense of humor, he doesn't claw their eyes out.

















The Coca-Cola cake was so good that the gentleman in question insisted on being photographed while licking the plate. And no, that is not Fran Lebowitz at the table, though if you look real quick, and look at what the man is doing....