As Sigourney Weaver Screams, and Lightning Flashes, Amuse-Biatch Special Guest Star Sir Ian McKellen Cries Out in Anguish, "It's Alive! It's Alive!"

When Alien* came out in 1979, the ads ominously informed you that, "In space, no one can hear you scream."

That may be well and good for outer space, but take our word for it--in a badly decorated space, everyone can hear us scream.

And they will, as we tackle Top Design, Bravo's follow-up to Top Chef, in our new blog, Pink Navy. We have fallen out of the frying pan, and into the Biedermeier, and when we deplore the décor, you'll know about it. And possums, it's no use putting the plastic covers on the couches; our claws can cut through anything.

So possums, come aboard; we're expecting you.

*(By the way, if you really want to have some fun, deconstruct the movie for your sci-fi geek friends as a prescient parable about AIDS, the construction of the female identity, and the male fear of penetration; every time the alien attacks a man aboard that spaceship, watch just where that tentacle goes in.)