Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Amuse-Biatch Emerges from Gayhab to Make Amends, Inaugurates Week of "Sweetness and Light"

As you know, possums, we have been spending some time of late at the Rainbow Springs Gayhab, and it was with some excitement that we looked at our correspondence over the weekend, eager to have news and support from the outside world.

Instead, we found this letter from a longtime fan, who writes to us periodically:

Just wondering if anyone told you today that you have no talent. If not, let me be the first.

Come on losers...how about some personal information? Maybe something like who you write for. Oh, that's right. You can't get a paying gig. That's ok. Just keep trashing people in anonymity and continue to live in obscurity. I think that's best for everyone concerned.

Have a spiteful day!

In addition to this fine and cheering note written from banjovial888@yahoo.com, our ironically anonymous fan also left this comment:

The "authors" of this site are perfect representations of the little kids who got picked on who grow up with chips on their shoulders, lashing out at anyone more skilled, successful or recognizable than they are.

My assumption is that after being rejected by legitimate media sources, they instead chose the anonymity of a blog to spit their venom. And such arrogance!

At least we can rest easier knowing their audience is so small to render their diatribes harmless. Except of course to those they are harming with their words. No matter how thick a person's skin is, no one likes to feel hated. Although something tells me these insignificant "writers" would rather by hated than ignored.

Well no more hate for me...it's time to ignore. Maybe they'll go away and leave the writing to real professionals.

Now, possums, our old, unenlightened selves would have focussed on the grammatical and typographical errors, and speculated about the identity of this anonymous fan who puts so much stock in "real professionals" writing and who once signed herself, "Mom."

But not our new selves. No, sirree. Frightened by the possibility that anonymous fans such as this one might indeed ignore us, we looked deep within our hearts and realized this fan might just have a point. Accordingly, we have resolved to have a whole week of what, if memory serves, Audrey Hepburn referred to as "sweetness and light" in Roman Holiday. All week long, we will say only nice, positive, completely heterosexual things. From now on, we are all kittens and goodness. Cross our newly lightened hearts.


Kari said...


I was glad to see this post, only because I will be in serious shock the day your excellent Top Chef blog goes away.

I'm surprised you even acknowledged this anonymous loser.

To be fair, though, you gave festival and glory to the FIRST person who sent you guys hate mail. Although the vitrol in that letter only had about 7% bile, compared to this one.

AND let me just say that MY email, sent months ago, where I asked you both to marry me, was completely ignored. Oh well, love you guys anyway ;)

lindseyQuinn said...

This banjovial person posted a bunch of pro-Betty, I-know-Betty-and-she's-great, Betty-rocks blather in the Betty thread at Television Without Pity. Hm.

blahblahblah said...

I think banjovial is Betty's Sister! Let's lift our "teacups" and say cheers!

Anonymous said...

Funny guys.

It's so similar in the Mamailan editorial. They must have pity party conference calls between them.

Why am I or anyone else supposed to be jealous of these fools who disgraced themselves on TV? They had probably the opportunity of the lives (Ilan, Sam, Cliff, Betty, Elia, Frank) and they blew it.

derek said...

It sounds like Ilan Hall's mother.

Anonymous said...

Betty's sis and Ilan's ma are the same person?!?!

kbryna said...

i thought your sweetness and light reference was to matthew arnold.

oopsie me!

I think you are divine writer(s). And I know from writing, since I am all getting my PhD in literature (this makes me an expert in EVERYTHING!).

also: happy smiling fuzzy warm friendly kittens and puppies! with sparkly unicorns and rainbow hearts!

Anonymous said...

Imagining Betty's sister as Ilan's mother ... what a sweet family that would be.

Seguin said...

Check this out... this "banjovial" person appears to be one of Betty's friends. Someone of the same username posted this thread on the Television Without Pity forums:



--Seguin from Texas

The Big Shamu said...

Oh my brothers and sisters in blogginess, the Righteous Relatives have spoken.
OH Banjovial and Momilan, we beseech thee from the depths of our dank, moldy (not covered by insurance) basements, ignore us not in our sad anonymity. Bring us up from our depths into the light of your collectively amazing writing skills and wit. Teach us the ways of spin and responsibility shirking so that we too may blame others for our failings. So wise in the ways you both are in recognizing arrogance in any poor soul who dares to disagree with your wisdom.
We are not worthy to look upon your son or sister. It's is my sincerest hope that we never do again.