Thursday, February 22, 2007
Oh, go on, possums, you knew this was coming.
Oh, possums, never have we been so glad to see a Thursday. Just one more day of sweetness and light! Britney, gurl, we know how you feel. Many is the time we've been tempted to flee Rainbow Springs, when the demons of biatchery have beset us, but keep your Promises, Brit-Brit, and Promises will keep you.
At any rate, this being Sweetness & Light Week, we come here not to bury but to praise. We start with our charmingly accented Elia Aboumrad. Not only is she possessed of delightful accent, she also is a trendsetter and a fashion leader. If Elia hadn't done it first, there is no doubt in our minds that Britney would not have done it. Amuse-Biatch, Perez Hilton, Us Weekly, TMZ, Kevin Federline, KFed's attorneys, Lindsay Lohan--we all owe you a debt of gratitude, Elia. Not only that, you also offered Britney, who is near your age, the perfect defense. As you said, if you don't shave your head now, when? Also, your wig is much better than Britney's.
Ah, there. We feel not only sweeter, but so much lighter, almost as if we'd shaved our heads.