Thursday, February 22, 2007

Sweetness & Light Thursday: Amuse-Biatch "Accentuates" the Positive

Oh, go on, possums, you knew this was coming.

Oh, possums, never have we been so glad to see a Thursday. Just one more day of sweetness and light! Britney, gurl, we know how you feel. Many is the time we've been tempted to flee Rainbow Springs, when the demons of biatchery have beset us, but keep your Promises, Brit-Brit, and Promises will keep you.

At any rate, this being Sweetness & Light Week, we come here not to bury but to praise. We start with our charmingly accented Elia Aboumrad. Not only is she possessed of delightful accent, she also is a trendsetter and a fashion leader. If Elia hadn't done it first, there is no doubt in our minds that Britney would not have done it. Amuse-Biatch, Perez Hilton, Us Weekly, TMZ, Kevin Federline, KFed's attorneys, Lindsay Lohan--we all owe you a debt of gratitude, Elia. Not only that, you also offered Britney, who is near your age, the perfect defense. As you said, if you don't shave your head now, when? Also, your wig is much better than Britney's.

Ah, there. We feel not only sweeter, but so much lighter, almost as if we'd shaved our heads.


Maya said...

Besides the bullying on Top Chef, I have another ax to grind.

(The following rant is brought to you by Kelloggs, and is NOT directed at the Amuse Biatch folks. It's directed at ET, the View, etc.)

The state of celebrity gossip today is an atrocity. Britany Spears is trying to go to McDonalds (or wherever that was)with her baby in her arms and the Papparazi were snapping a thousand cameras in her barely-got-any-sleep face.

Then they rant, "she looks sad, confused. What's wrong with her?"

Maybe because these F***brains won't leave her alone.

I DON'T want to know about a celeb's newest colonoscopy. I DO NOT want to hear about their ugly divorce. I am NOT INTERESTED in what kind of mom they are or if they are in rehab. Let the courts and child welfare deal with that. It's called privacy. Jesus.

Yes, I am bitter too since they make a thousand times more money than me. But they are still human. Leave Britany the hell alone.

(Again, not directed at the Amuse Biatch people.)

Thanks for letting me rant. Kiss.

kbryna said...

the FIRST THING i thought of, after seeing shaven-headed britney, was ms eelia.

the resemblance is striking.

i shake my head at the world, and sigh, thanking my lucky stars that minds like yours (charlus and miss xaxa) shine like beacons of hope and joy.

or something.

Anonymous said...

Britney is looking more and more like Elia everyday. Check these out...

Britney Rages

Some celebrities deserve our sympathy when the papparazi invade their privacy, but Britney isn't one of them. Afterall, she's the one who tried to pimp herself on a reality show that she recorded herself with home video cameras.

Anonymous said...

Along with hundreds of millions come a few inconveniences ... the hideous burden of wearing panties in public....

Anonymous said...

Jack Nicholson showed up with a shaved head at the Oscars last night. No doubt it was an independent choice based on the requirements of a movie role or just a personal hairstyle change, but I couldn't help think of Britney and Elia when I saw him.

Here's a photo of him presenting one of the awards: