Friday, June 22, 2007

Mario Batali to Play King Lear as His Own Children Metaphorically Stab Him with a Sharpie

Possums, it's time to dust off your Harold Bloom-approved editions of King Lear and turn to the bit that says, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child."

Now imagine Mario Batali declaiming those lines while clad in flowing robes and orange Crocs (we'll leave it up to you to suggest who should play the Fool in this production) as he contemplates this situation:

In May, in a cri de coeur heard round the Blogosphere, Chef Batali told New York magazine, while discussing culinary plagiarism, "Hey, we watched Ilan [Hall] win [Top Chef] by taking the Casa Mono tasting menu and presenting it as his own..."

Imagine, then, the paternal horror he must have felt at the most recent Food & Wine Classic in Aspen, which he attended with his wife and his little male Goneril and Regan. According to BusinessWeek, as Ilan Hall, whose very presence there was one of the prizes for winning Top Chef, walked by Chef Batali, Molto Mario shouted at him, "My kids want your autograph, man!"

Our hearts bleed to read this. How much sharper than a serpent's tooth is an autograph seeker's Sharpie!

Special Mario Batali Disclaimer: Chef Batali, not that you'll ever read this, but just in case you do, please be advised that the preceding (though culled from the sources cited) was meant to be humorous.


Melanie said...

Oh, the irony! I would have loved to see the faces of both Ilan and Mario during that exchange.

Ms. Place said...

Oh, ick.

ArtfulSub said...

Absalom, Oh Absalom. My son, my son.

You guys aren't as funny this year. Tighten up.


Anonymous said...

lol, Ilan's always good for dishin'

Anonymous said...

I am confident that the humorous and intellectual Batali would approve of your witty metaphors.