Thursday, June 28, 2007
Playing Chicken with Fauxmicah as Snobbery Karma Ketchups Up to Her and We Search for a Colonel of Truth
Yes, possums, like a bat out of hell, meatloaf-making Micah Edelstein was pykagged tonight.
You ought to have heard the cackling and clucking when Micah announced, ever so disdainfully, "I'm from South Africa, I've never eaten fried chicken." Miss XaXa could barely contain herself, "No she di'n't! Her chicken's gonna get fried tonight."
As you may remember, thanks to a faithful Amuse-Biatch reader, earlier this week we broke the story of Micah's grade school and high school years in Bridgewater, Massachusetts. With her statement, Fauxmicah would have us believe that she spent at least seven years in the Massachusetts public school system without tasting fried chicken. To which we say, Ha! Pull our other leg, Micah; it's got bells on.
Wayward and Biatchstein did a little investigation, and we found a Kentucky Fried Chicken right in Bridgewater, located at 218 Broad Street. There is also a KFC at 985 Belmont Street in Brockton, and Brockton also has a Crown Fried Chicken. Middleboro has Fisher's Chicken House and Justins Chicken House. And there are KFCs in South Africa.
Well, perhaps it's true that she's never eaten fried chicken, but if so, it's not because she's from South Africa; it's because she's chosen not to.
On tonight's episode, she made it sound as if she were a recent immigrant, as if she had just moved to the States a few years ago with $400, a suitcase, and her baby daughter, whereas she had spent her youth in quaint old Bridgewater. She also said she had lived in the Bahamas and was quite familiar with conch, and yet for the life of her could not pry the little critters from their shells, hammering and poking at them with scissors as if it were a Jim Carrey routine. And then there was the duplicity about the lamb from last week's episode. All of this leads us to believe that she has truly earned her nickname. Goodbye, Fauxmicah, and good luck.