Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Breaking Fauxmicah News: Possible Sorority Girl Micah Edelstein Loves America, Hates "Top Chef"

What a relief, possums, to know that U.S. citizen and self-taught chef Micah Edelstein does not hate the foods of her native country.

Indeed, we had begun to imagine a culinary version of that ghastly short story we were made to read in high school, "The Man Without a Country," starring Fauxmicah as a woman who loathes and repudiates American country foods, only to end her days aboard a brig begging for tater tots. Our tentative title? "The Woman Without a Country Fried Steak."

Fortunately, no such fate awaits Fauxmicah. As informs us, Fauxmicah has recanted. During the episode where she was eliminated, Fauxmicah is heard saying, “I’m from South Africa. I’ve never eaten fried chicken. It’s just not something that interests me in the slightest. My reaction to American comfort food? Ugh!” However, as we will learn on tonight's "very special episode" of "Watch What Happens When We Can't Get Our Act Together and Need to Recycle Material":

Feisty Micah doesn't hate Americans — but she did hate the show by the third episode.
"I've lived in Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, Spain, Italy, South America and throughout the Caribbean," she explained. "It comes across like I hate American cuisine, and I don't; I love it. But by the time [I was eliminated], you could have put anything in front of me and I probably would have just gone, ‘Ugh, fabulous.'"

Hmmm, that makes a lot of sense.

In other news, two readers have left comments stating that they were classmates of Fauxmicah's at the University of Miami, where Fauxmicah was in a sorority (!!!).

Ah, yes, ugh fabulous indeed.

At any rate, possums, if you have yearbook pics, especially of Fauxmicah "wearing her sorority letters," you know where to send them.


Anonymous said...

Yes, Micah was a D Phi E at the University of Miami in the mid 90s...and never had that sometimes Irish, sometimes Aussie, sometimes South African accent.

Anonymous said...

FauxMicah can FauxBlowMe