Possums, in the beginning, we knew there were two:
Then, our friend Dorothy (yes, as in "FOD") confirmed that there were three:
And then we heard the rat-tat-tat and the clackety-clack of Louboutins on a travertine floor. 'Twas Miss XaXa, breathlessly delivering the news that, actually, there were four:
"Uh, darling, I know you've seen The L Word, but this isn't the 'Max Factor.' That's actually Richard Blais. He's from Atlanta, he's married, to a woman, and has a child on the way."
"Je sais, je sais, darling. He's just trying to wrest the fauxhawked, sexually ambiguous, molecular gastronomy crown from Marcel Vigneron."
"And he's such a man. He's been going fauxhawk a fauxhawk with Jen "The Beast" Biesty, and of course, he thinks his is bigger and better. He even accuses her of stuffing a metaPhotoShopical sock down her 'hawk."
"Yes, you're right. No wonder he prides himself on being socially awkward."
Dicky, you’re fauxhawked: Christian Siriano just pronounced your haircut “last season’s ‘hawk,” while praising Jen Biesty’s Lady-‘hawk.