Sunday, April 20, 2008

Koren Grieveson: Lesbian Avenger or Avenger of Lesbians?

Possums, while it’s true that the ancient Greek goddess of revenge was named Nemesis, we have a sneaking suspicion that her modern incarnation may well be named Koren Grieveson (or, as Miss XaXa put it, Grievances). For there were two who had sinned against the daughters of Sappho, the heirs of Radclyffe Hall, and by Grieveson’s hand would those Grievances be addressed.

Spike (Through the Head) had grievously sinned against Lez Girls—his outbursts against Zoi and Jen, getting Zoi booted, dropping a tomatillo that very nearly caused Lisa to break her leg at the store—and so had Dale with his vastly hypocritical and vastly entertaining attacks on Lisa for her negativity.

And now both found themselves in the bottom three of the beery, Grieveson-judged Quickfire Challenge, with Jen giggling and Lisa smiling and uttering the for-the-ages line, “Good, bitch. Have fun on the bottom.”

But, having a one-track mind, what we wondered was, Is Koren Grieveson a lesbian avenger or merely an avenger of lesbians?

We have to confess that looking at her behind the row of beer pitchers, our gaydar went, Ding, ding, ding, ding! But that is hardly conclusive.

So we did a little digging and dabbed a bit of semiotics on our wrists and behind our ears, and this is what we came up with.

Grieveson, who was just chosen by Top Chef sponsor Food & Wine Magazine as one of its Best New Chefs for 2008, is South African, and lived in Angola and Iraq. Well, that tells us nothing. And she was in the army for eight years. Ah, ding, ding, ding!

And she’s wearing a shirt with a Padma shape-alike, and has arm tattoos. Ding, ding, ding, ding!

And what’s this? A chain-wallet? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, DING!

Q.E.D., possums, Q.E.D.

UPDATE: And we have a winner. Enterprising possum Heather went out and got the evidence, which is much, much better than we had dared to hope. To wit, Koren's favorite kitchen appliance is "My 15-pound sausage stuffer." (!!!) Koren listens to country music, especially the Dixie Chicks. And her "girl Frog" is a clothes designer. Project Runway, what are you waiting for? This means that, if our math is right, in just the first six weeks of this season, Top Chef has featured four out lesbian chefs. That's quite a coup.


Cliff O'Neill said...

Seriously. She is the second coming of Sally Hershberger.

hughman said...

i have to admit my gaydar went off so loud i was shaking like a sous chef in dale's kitchen. hopefully this will teach some of that kitchen testosterone you don't fuck with the lesbians.

David Dust said...

The Chain Wallet is the "smoking gun" here...

Heather said...

I had to do some research myself after that episode and I found an article that confirms your suspicions...and pictures her girlfriend.

Taylor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I can confirm that she is indeed a lesbian.

Anonymous said...