Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Like Maria and Marta Von Trapp, Self-Avowed “Metrosexual’s” Favorite Color Is Pink*

That, at least, is what we learnt, possums, from the video audition Ryan submitted to Bravo’s casting people, apparently at Bravo’s request (and which Ryan posted on his MySpace page). In the video, entitled “The Ryan Scott Experience,” Ryan makes the following promise:

Everything that I’m about is what you’re going to see. The time that I get off, which is minimal, that’s when I eat pizza, that’s when I get my nails done. It’s no joke, it’s no front. This is the man that you guys were intrigued by, and this is the man you’re gonna get to see.

So go ahead, possums. Take a few minutes and have yourself a giggle; we’ll see you on the other side of The. Ryan. Scott. Experience. (If you can't see the video on the screen, click here.)

We came across this gem even before the current season of Top Chef started airing, and we had been waiting until the perfect moment, and well, now that Ryan has been pykkagged, there is no more perfect moment, so we might as well get it out of our system now. What we found particularly fascinating about the video was the way in which Ryan courted sexual confusion and ambiguity, beginning with getting his nails done.

And there was this:

And this:

And especially this:

And, of course, this:

Sorry, wrong video. So, possums, metrosexual? “Metrosexual”? Confused? Pandering to Bravo’s core audiences? Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

*As you may remember, possums, in The Sound of Music, when Fräulein Maria, as yet un-Trapped, first meets the children whose governess she is to be, the following exchange takes place

Marta: I’m Marta, and I’m going to be seven on Tuesday, and I’d like a pink parasol.
Maria: Well, pink’s my favorite color, too.


Anonymous said...

What a douche!!

hughman said...

his "girlfriend" looks like karen walker from will and grace. that can't be good.

Anonymous said...

Kitten, why oh why do we keep talking about Douchey McDouche Bag? Why can't we let him go already? Seriously. He makes me ill. I feel physically ill everytime I seem him (on the blogs, on the show, anywhere, it doesn't matter). He's neither interesting nor amusing. He's infuriating. Keep talking about avenging lesbians and crotch-grabbing, Bears-worshipping, straight-drunk-girl-dancing, "Good-bitch-have-fun-on-the-bottom"-evoking, pygmy-sized, loose-cannon chefs. They are much, much more interesting and so much more fun to laugh at.

Anonymous said...

Clarification: Oopsie, I meant to say that the loose-cannon chefs (with the long list of adjectives) are "so much more fun to laugh at." Not the avenging lesbians. (Must remember to edit more carefully next time)

Charlus said...

Diana, possum, you wish has been granted. Today sees the last of our Douchey McDouche Bag posts for a very long time. We're going to go celebrate by poaching our pears in something strong and agave-based.

Anonymous said...

" that Ryan has been pykkagged"

(emphasis mine)

Hey, Spelling Biatch. You just misspelled an acronym. Get your act together.