Monday, August 06, 2007

Lalalina Goes LaLa, Top Chef Sperm for Sale, STDs, and Other Secrets of Reality TV

Possums, the claws are out.

Just in time for lunch, and hot off the presses, is this cover story in New York Magazine about Bravo's reality tv programs, including, of course, Top Chef.

Among the dishy, Top Chef-related delights:

* At breakfast one morning a few weeks ago, Ilan Hall, the appealing winner of this past season’s Top Chef, confessed that he and his old girlfriend also split after the show. “She thinks it’s because women were coming up to me after the show,” he said. “Which happens. But it had nothing to do with it.”

* [Contestants] can’t even have sex with one another to pass the time. (An STD could result in a lawsuit—unlike hookup reality shows, the contestants aren’t tested beforehand for communicable diseases.)

* Sam [Talbot] had been in the running for The Bachelor.

* Like Michael Midgley, for example. “Mikey,” says Colicchio. “In the beginning, I was complaining, ‘What is this guy doing here?’ And the producers were saying, ‘Yeah, but wouldn’t it be great if he really could cook?’ And I’d say, ‘Yeah, it would be great. But he can’t.’ ”

* Yet back at Perilla, I discover that Harold has gotten plenty of invitations from non-foodies for his services, like the e-mail he recently got from a woman in her mid-forties from the Midwest. “She basically asked straight up if she could purchase some of my … DNA, I guess. Some seedlings,” he says. “That was awkward. I mentioned it to the fellow who helps me with specific events and stuff, and he was like, Oh my God, that’s the greatest idea ever! We’re gonna put it right on eBay!

Read the full story for all the gory details, especially if you're a fan of Project Runway, though be sure to have a drink in hand, as some of the details are bound to make you sad.


mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Great article, thanks for the link. I think it is time for a new set of lyrics for "That's Entertainment".

frogboots said...

ew, Sam on The Bachelor! ew!

so, if Ilan (who is totally straight, of course, he's so ungay) and the lina split after the show, why did they do that horrible, awkward appearance on - was it a FOX morning show? it was the most horrible thing ever - cooking for valentine's day, and the host kept saying "you two kids should get hitched! when are you gonna pop the question!"
it was AWFUL.

even *I* felt bad for ilan.

Jon said...

You guys are the best....better reading your blog than the ny tinmes every day.

Keep it coming charlus and're simply the best.

frogboots said...

INNNNNTERESTING article - thanks for the link.

and why does the writer describe Ilan as the "appealing" winner of season two? didn't she SEE season two?

Anonymous said...

Well said, frogboots. I remember that TV appearance. And why is the sole mention of Ilan in this article devoted to bolstering his ungay credentials? Even with daddyIlan getting in an the act, at the expense of Caroleena. Do they consider the rumors about Ilan's gayness to be their biggest problems. btw, Ilan's myspace now says he never wants children. Hope the folks don't catch wind of that.

Anonymous said...

Sam as The Bachelor could be unintentionally hilarious. He's so not as he sees himself.

Melanie said...

Excellent, well-written article about Top Chef and the other Bravo reality shows--thanks so much for the link. I learned so much from reading it.

It stung me when I read the following: "Bernstein (Randy Bernstein, casting director for Top Chef) says that talent was still his primary consideration when he and his partner first set out to cast Top Chef, and that casting, no matter how programmatic people are about it, is an inexact science. (He and his colleagues had no idea that Marcel would be such a worm, for instance, because he was so quiet and nervous on his audition tape.)" A worm? Jeezus! I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it. If Marcel was as bad as they say, why was Bravo leaving all that footage out of the aired episodes and instead only showing everyone else's terrible behavior?

Maybe if they had provided the contestants with some air conditioning in the lofts and in the kitchens, Season 2 contestants wouldn't have been so damn hateful. I would have been hateful in temperatures of 110+.

Too bad about Jay from Project Runway forfeiting his $100,000 winnings to protect future earnings from Bravo taking 10% of them. Ouch! Now that Bravo has taken that clause out of their contract, it seems to me they could go back and make things right for Jay, if only to help with their PR after this article was published.

Ilan's father seems to be a nice match-up with Momilan--very "smooth" move on his part to so obviously insult Ilan's former girlfriend in the press. The entire family could definitely use some lessons in good manners.

Anonymous said...

how can sam be on the bachelor if he has a gf?