Monday, September 17, 2007

Knight's Lady in White Satin: Amuse-Biatch Throws a Moody Blue Fit Over a Fugly White Fit











































Padma, possum, tsk, tsk, tsk. We understand wanting to look smashing at the Emmys, but, as in the case, smashing so often turns to smashed. There's no two ways about it--the dress is too tight. Our heterosexual brethren may disagree, but so be it. White is an unforgiving color, and satin is an unforgiving fabric. Together, they're spectacularly unforgiving. In fact, we haven't seen anything so unforgiving since our mother found out she would never have a daughter-in-law. And, oh, possums, we wish we could bring you the photo of Tom Colicchio and Padma posing on the red carpet, Padma towering over him in wrinkled satin, Tom sporting a boxy jacket and ugly shoes. If we had a heart, it would be broken. And to add insult to injury, Top Chef lost the Emmy to The Amazing Race. All of Ilan Hall's efforts were for naught.

Update: Here it is, possums.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

If a nipple doesn't poke through it's not too tight...

Anonymous said...

That dress is so tight, I think I can see her left ovary protruding in the top pic.

Anonymous said...

I think shes looking pretty darn nice. Tom though good lord, He reminds me of little children in suits, you can always tell how uncomfortable they are to be wearing something so formal.

Anonymous said...

I am shocked I'm saying this, but I'd agree, that dress IS too tight.

-and Tom? ...poor thing.

trixie said...

Oh dear. That's just not right.

All that fabric bunching up.

Tom just looks comical. He needs a bowler hat. That would finish the look.

Padma. Oh dear. But she likes to dress slutty. I suspect that even if she had a stylist maybe she couldn't be made to listen to reason.

She doesn't understand that it is all about context. She looks great on Top Chef. However, on the Red Carpet in Hollywood she's the one who looks like a schlub.

But Glenn Close really rocked her satin gown.

Anonymous said...

Hey compared to the goofy marching band vest and her Brian costume, id rather see her in a tight yet bunched dress than either of those two delightful outfits ever again. And she certainly has the figure for it.

Java Junkie said...

Ms. Edith Head said "Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady." Maybe Padma misread that to say "Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a loose lady."???

SGLC said...

"[Tom] needs a bowler hat." No. He need that hat he wore in the last episode.

txvoodoo said...

Padma and her mom!

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering what is with the tail...

ArtfulSub said...

Dress appears to fit snugly but not badly in photos 1 and 3. Dress appears too tight in sideview from photo 2. My guess is it looked really fugly from the rear.

That's usually the worst angle for that sort of outfit.


I'd rather eat CJ's broccolini than watch a Hollyweird awards show.

Anonymous said...

is it just me, or does tom's head look incredibly minute compared to his shoulders in that tux?

PeachPie said...

Christ... when are women going to get it into their fat/skinny heads that tight does NOT equate sexy.

Java, excellent quote.

Ms. Place said...

Uggh! Thud!