Padma Lakshmi Stalker Alert, Part II: If "Cancer Boy" CJ Jacobson Makes a Wish, Does It Have a Foundation?

Well, possums, it seems Padma Lakshmi's got all the menfolks nuts about her.

First, she was being stalked by a man with huge balls. Holy sagging elephantiasis, possums!

And now, she's being stalked by a man with one ball.

Seemingly the only person in the world who loves the word "wanton" as much as we, CJ Jacobson tells our pally pal Josh at Grub Street, "Did you see the wanton and sad expression Padma had when I walked off stage? She’s running from me now, but..."

However, CJ saved the best of his bitchiness, wantonness, and post coital melancholia for our West Coast pal Lesley at Eater LA:

Did you ever dream you'd make Padma breakfast in the morning?
Yes, I dreamt several times that I would cook her breakfast.

It seemed like you two had a special bond. She practically broke into tears when she told you to pack your knives, and she blurted it out instead dragging it on as she usually does.
Yes, I saw that same wanton look in her eyes.

No, um. Not wanton, sad. She looked sad.
Oh, that was sad? I guess the crying comes after the wanton. She looked way sad, like when someone has to make a tough decision. You do get to know each other well on the show. You bond with the judges as much as anyone else. You know, really, I don't think she liked being in Newark any more than I did.

CJ also tells Lesley about not wanting to be "cancer boy," about Joey Paulino's less-than-stellar pizza, Anne Hathaway's birthday party, and missing the show's g/l/b/t crowd, which was a bit of a surprise, coming, as it did, from Mr. Ungay.