Sacré Bleu Cheese!: Bravo Washes Mouth Out with Soap

Well, possums, what a difference a week and a little soap make! It appears that Bravo’s editors have tempered the show’s sheer cussedness. This week’s episode was entirely devoid of maternal copulators, and overall profanity use was down 38.8%.

The biggest surprise of all was Andrew D’Ambrosi, whose profanity use was down a whopping 83.3%. Indeed—whether as a result of better medication (Miss Xaxa’s theory is that big-bad-biker-pussy(cat)-cum-“soul chef” Erik Hopfinger either is or should be sharing his meds with Andrew) or editorial “soap”—it was rather a nice touch to have Andrew turn aside after his disqualification during the Quickfire Challenge to utter the simple yet telling, “Poo.” And last week’s number-two curser, Dale Talde, had a mouth that was 33.3% cleaner. Come on, Bravo, it’s time to bring on Orbit gum as a sponsor.

The biggest surprise of the week was the rise of the dirty girls’ club. Last week, the women made up only 22% of the cursers, but this week, 71% of the cursers had two X chromosomes. Defying the overall downward trend, Stephanie Izard was the week’s biggest curser, with a 40% increase in the use of profanity. Well done, possum!