Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Ahoy, MFMatey!: The Return of Brian MFMalarkey

Reading and writing about Casey "Beaver Boots" Thompson, and then turning our gaze to the current season's mostly lusterless roster of cheftestants, made us, we confess, ache with nostalgia for Season 3.

In fact, so dire is our nostalgia that we even began wondering about one of our all-time favorites, Brian "Asshat" MFMalarkey, who managed to combine Spike Mendelsohn's penchant for repellent headwear with Ryan Scott's prettiness, loquacity and smarm. Indeed, the fact that it takes two of this season's cheftestants to gather up the personality of one cheftestant from last season may say all that needs to be said.

Imagine our bliss, possums, when we discovered that MFMalarkey has started to post videos of himself on YouTube. One occasionally reads about drug users dying from taking heroin that is too pure and unadulterated, and we feared the same might happen to us after viewing this clip. It's all there--the not-to-be-believed hats, the loquacity, the smarm, the self-regard, the preposterous homoeroticism, and, as a bonus, a laugh so maniacal that it might have come from the very attic of Mr. Rochester's house in Jane Eyre. Enjoy!


hughman said...

he's like cross between Tom Cruise and Cap'n Crunch.

rob said...

A repute-able store? boy cain't read.

The Big Shamu said...

Well at least he got through an entire video segment without making some sort of tuna tartar.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. Well, thank you for confirming that I suffer from mental disease or defect, because against all reason, I inexplicably love this goober.

btw, I just discovered that y'all exist, and just want to say I think your observational skills are dead-on and your wit fabulous.