Even Tom Colicchio Wants to Know If Leah and Hosea “Hooked Up”; He’s Betting on Fabio for Fan Favorite, and Liked “Slumdog Millionaire”

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Brave Newark: Tony and Tom Go to Ibiza After Their New Jersey Civil Partnership Ceremony

Possums, remember that Looney Toons episode featuring Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, and a planeload of hats?

The point was to show that the hat could make the man. In this case, however, it has unmade him.

Tom, Tom, Tom, tsk, tsk, tsk. There's a reason La Cage aux folles wasn't set in New Jersey.

En plus, the hat makes Tom Colicchio, of all people, look like a bottom. If we squint, we can practically make out the speech bubble over Tom's head: "Honey, whaddya mean you didn't pack the suntan lotion?"

Candid Tom Colicchio Cultivates His Garden State and Remembers the Elizabethan Era

No, possums, we're not posting this just because we wanted to make Voltaire allusions or show you Tom Colicchio in an apron and tongs. There were other reasons, too, and when we think of them, we'll let you know. (Hey, you try coming up with material during a week with no new episode.)

At any rate, in the latest issue of New Jersey Monthly, Jersey boy (and Jersey bear) Thomas Patrick Colicchio ("Italian on both sides"; go figure) sings the praises of his native Garden State, recollects his time spent in Elizabeth, and recounts the Feast of the Thirteen Fish.

Have a look.