Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Completely Heterosexual, South Beach-Bound Ilan Hall Proves That Pink Shoelaces and White Louis Vuitton Don't Make You Gay

Oh, possums, there are times when, sitting in our dank basements, we shake with a palsy of envy and rage, and this is one of them. Our boy Ilan Hall was spotted en route to heterosexual mecca South Beach spotting pink shoelaces, a white (!) Louis Vuitton belt with a candy-colored (!) logo, a Louis Vuitton duffel bag, and a white Patek Philippe watch encrusted with close to 50 diamonds and valued at over $10,000. All of this while we basement-dwellers must gnaw on raw turnips and try to forget our agoraphobia by trying to knock down the blessed. Oh, H.G. Wells, where art thou?

Actually, we have a more pressing question: Is the Louis Vuitton bag the same one The New York Observer spotted last week, and which Ilan tried to pass off as a Gucci, or is there a Gucci bag in addition to the Louis Vuitton? Inquiring gay minds (and Marc Jacobs) want to know.


Anonymous said...

Is this what he's doing with his Top Chef winnings - buying tacky accessories? I thought gays could accessorize better than this.

Anonymous said...

Well who has a $1000+ bag and doesn't know if it's LV or gucci. He was obviously trying to butch it up in the elevator when the writer asked if it was gucci. He also claimed it wasn't new when the writer said it was. I'll bet it's the same bag.