Again, possums, blame all of this on the lack of a new episode this week, and the usual warnings apply, i.e., if you don't want to be exposed to possible spoilers, read no further.
For those not so inclined, listen to our cockamamie reasoning.
Last week, our pal Lesley at Eater LA provided a little spoiler information of her own, relating what happened when she attended the Western Foodservice & Hospitality Expo in Los Angeles:
[W]e found ourselves in the 'beer garden' (natch) standing next to a woman with an Oceanaire/San Diego, CA badge. Why...cheftestant Brian Malarkey works at the Oceanaire! Always one to take advantage of a situation, we asked the co-worker: "Hey, did Brian win?" OK, maybe we thought we'd trip her up. Conniving? A little bit. Results? Nada. The woman's eyes widened, then she paused, smiled, shrugged, looked away and kind of giggled. "I don't knoo-oooow..." This, in that way that suggests, "Yes, I know, but of course I'm not going to tell you crazy stranger." Then she added: "I probably know more than most people because I'm friends with his wife." Honestly, if you were there, it was painfully obvious Brian made it pretty damn far in the competition.
And then today Amuse-Biatch reader CB advised us to look at the MySpace page maintained by Brian "Asshat" Malarkey's wife, Chantelle, and as we thought of Lesley's post ("I probably know more than most people because I'm friends with his wife"), our little antennae began to quiver. The quivering intensified when we remembered how, last season, Ilan Hall telegraphed on his MySpace page that he had won by playing the Scrappy song "Money in the Bank."
So, on her MySpace page, Mrs. Malarkey, "Chantelle Chanel" ("Wasn't she a contestant on Flavor of Love?" asked Miss XaXa), has the Chanel logo as her wallpaper, and says that her interests include "luxury living," "gold," "diamonds and jewels," "CA$H money," and the music she likes includes that of "Johnny Ca$h." To our way of thinking, either she suffers from outsized cupidity or she knows there's "Money in the Bank." Might Asshat have won the whole thing?