“Little Chop of Horrors”: A Season 2 Update

Well, possums, Season 2 cheftestant Betty "Spice Rack" Fraser, the subject of perhaps our most controversial headline ever, is back in the news, and, as you can see from the photograph, the spice rack is still fully stocked. Indeed, the spice rack will be enjoying a larger cabinet, as Betty reports that she and her "restaurant partner Denise DeCarlo" have expanded their operations and opened a new restaurant, The Fountain Court. Betty has apparently also been approached by, er, boob-tube producers and is "actively pursuing a couple of show ideas."

In a discussion of sexism in the professional kitchen, Betty says, "[W]hen I was on Top Chef one of the contestants, Elia [Aboumrad], was trained in France and she told us horror stories about how some of the male chefs would try to sabotage her. All I can say is, don’t forget boys that it was your mother who fed you!"

Love the allusion to the spice rack, Betty!

And funny you should mention classically French-trained, headshaving, Britney-Spears-avant-la-lettre Mexican socialite cum chef, Elia Aboumrad, for we have just come across the most delicious and intriguing rumor.

In January of last year, in an interview she did with Chow.com, Elia and interviewer Joyce Slaton had this tantalizing exchange:

Joyce Slaton: One thing I’m curious about—are you back working at Mandalay Bay now?

Elia Aboumrad: I am, yes.

JS: And what made you go from working with Joel Robuchon in Vegas to working at Mandalay Bay? It seems like, on the face of it, it seems sort of like a step backwards.

EA: It does.

JS: It does?

EA: I cannot talk about this too much, ‘cause I was not, I’m not allowed by MGM Grand.

JS: Oh wow.

EA: But I was transferred here to upscale the service and the food of Mandalay Bay and the tower and the hotel and all of room service, hospitality and the café. I can’t really say any details about it.

JS: There’s a story in there somewhere, but I hear we’re not going to get it.

So imagine, possums, how intrigued we were when we came across this story on Monday in The Vegas Eye (the story has now, mysteriously, disappeared from their website, but Google had cached it, and hence the screencap).
















Fascinating, n'est-ce pas, possums? It seems that, even if it's fresh when it's thrown, fish rots from the head.

"Wooden" Chef America: Mario Batali vs. Joël Robuchon

Well, possums, it seems we have a battle of the jerk-offs on our, er, hands.

From New York magazine, published January 15, 2007:

What was your favorite annoying Marcel moment?
Sam: There's no single moment, but he would switch into different alter egos in different places. On the beach he'd talk like a surfer, and other days he'd go gangster.

Ilan [Hall, line cook at Mario Batali's Casa Mono]: This didn't air, but he had to make this dish about lust and I told him that he's never lusted after a woman, all he does is go home and jerk off thinking about Joël Robuchon. And the only thing he could think of as a comeback was, "I don't jerk off to Joël Robuchon." That was it!

From the Las Vegas Weekly interview of Marcel Vigneron, published January 18, 2007:

According to a post attributed him, [Frank Terzoli] claimed you spent at least 40 minutes in the bathroom.
'That's just not true. I think it's sad that he has to resort to those kind of lies to save face. If anything, Ilan was the one that took 45 minutes in the bathroom. Probably a chronic masturbator.' He squeezes out the butt of his cigarette and lifts his hands in an open-palm gesture. 'Okay,' he says, 'enough of that!'

So, possums, which chef would you, er, raise your glass to?

On the left-hand side, we have Chef Robuchon, and on the right-hand side, Chef Batali. Closing our eyes and remembering the lardo pizza and olive oil gelato from Batali’s Otto (as opposed to any dishes from Babbo), and the lamb confit, truffled mashed potatoes, and Chartreuse soufflé from L’Atelier de Joël Robuchon (as opposed to any dishes from Joël Robuchon at the Mansion), we know which hand we’d pay tribute with.

Padma Lakshmi Continues to Defend Marcel Vigneron; Amuse-Biatch Continues to Defend the English Language

From the last, as-yet-uncorrected portion of Padma Lakshmi's Cogent™ Blog:

We've all had that kid in school who [sic] everyone loved to pick on and I do think somehow this group has decided that he's there [sic] bespectacled Piggy in their Lord of the Flies [sic] scenario. I felt bad for him watching the tape of the show. I saw what he said to Betty and he didn't snap at her, [sic] he just told her to wait firmly enough to get his point across. The voice you hear telling Marcel to "hold up" is the voice of our Assistant Director Sean [sic] who relays when the cameras are ready to film the one and only time that food is served to that bunch of live waiting dinner guests, and if Marcel hadn't waited of [sic] told Betty to wait loud [sic] enough, we would have missed the shot. And Betty and others know that. They just decided that whatever little thing he did was an excuse for them all to behave in that way. Whoever [sic] heard of kitchen folk being that thin-skinned? If you don't like being barked at now and again, you should really get out ot [sic] the kitchen. I do think they're a little frightened of him and his skills, where as [sic] they aren't threatened by, say, Mike -- who [sic] they seem to help along one [sic] more than one occasion. I'm not saying that Marcel is completely innocent, but watching tonight's episode, I was shocked by the level of aggression on everyone's part. I do hope this doesn't continue to be the case. This is supposed to be a professional environment, not one where personal attacks are commonplace.

Poor copy editing skills and grammar aside, we think Padma hit the nail right on the head. We thought it particularly interesting, when viewing the episode again, that part of Ilan Hall's tirade is an injunction to Marcel go to another school and to go to New York and have Ilan teach him how to cook. This was of interest because, at least according to the Bravo bios, both Marcel and Ilan attended the Culinary Institute of America (and we seem to remember reading somewhere that their tenure there overlapped). So is Ilan knocking the quality of his own education? As for teaching Marcel how to cook, Bravo's own bio says that Marcel was a teacher's assistant at CIA, so why would that be necessary? Furthermore, Marcel is a "master cook" at the U.S. flagship restaurant of international superstar chef Joël Robuchon, whereas Ilan is a "line cook" at Mario Batali's tapas joint. Padma, we think your analysis is spot-on. You done good, girl.

Undercover with Marcel Vigneron

Confidential to Marcel Vigneron, aka Mark Vines aka Madame de Pompadour, who, despite having a French name and working for Joël Robuchon (we hear he makes his employees take French lessons), is one of the worst offenders in the realm of pronunciation:

That was a nice interview you did with the TC2 Gals, and you came across as a decent whippersnapper, but we do have two comments.

(1) Grant Achatz is the chef at Alinea, not Alenis.

(2) When asked the perennial "boxers, briefs or commando," you say "all of the above, except tighty whities," which you "won't be caught dead in...." But the tighty whities you revile are briefs, which you say you wear. We're a little confused. Unless this means...could it be? Do you sport colored briefs? Or, God forbid, Underoos? We would ask for clarification. And anyway, we feel that in Marcel's case, the question was a tad underinclusive, since it didn't offer as one of the choices thongs from the International Male catalogue.

Mexican Spitfire Spits Tacks

As much as we understand the compunction or need for reality television to reduce contestants to a bite-size, easily digestible appellation for the ease of television viewers, it does bother us that the shorthand is often lazy and stereotypical and sometimes borders on the racist or offensive (e.g., Frankie the Bull).

For example, it irks us that the Bravo bio describes Carlos as "a handsome and zealous Cuban with a flair for cooking and a passion for life," and Elia herself as a "Latin firecracker."

A "positive" stereotype is not always a blessing, and can be just as limiting as a negative stereotype. God help the Latin who doesn't go in for passion or the gay who can't decorate. But lest we get too preachy, let's talk about Elia, who isn't exactly Lupe "Mexican Spitfire" Velez.
Her full name is Elia Aboumrad Harfuch, and, like Salma Hayek and Shakira, she is of Middle Eastern heritage. (There is a large and prosperous Lebanese community in Mexico, where they made an important contribution to the country's cuisine by turning the shawarma into the emblematic Mexico City dish, the perfect late-night on-the-run treat, tacos al pastor).

Elia's parents appear frequently in the society pages in Mexico, throwing Arab-themed dinners in their mansion in Pedregal de San Angel, the Bel Air of Mexico City, appearing at French Embassy shindigs, theater openings, and society weddings. This isn't exactly someone who learnt cooking at her family's taquería.

As she told Mexican daily El Universal last year, "Everything began three years ago when I left home to go study in Paris. Since I've always liked cooking, I planned to take a six-month course at Lenôtre, a school that, among other things, has the greatest number of Meilleurs Ouvriers de France winners (the highest title a French chef achieve)." She didn't know much about gastronomy, and so enrolled in a special course for people starting from scratch. She went on to take courses in pastry-making, ice cream-making, ice and sugar sculpture, and chocolate-making. She then worked for Joël Robuchon in Paris.

The article was published two weeks before Elia was to travel to Las Vegas to become the first woman, and only Mexican, to occupy the post of sous-chef at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon, a matter of considerable pride. And now she works for Alain Ducasse at the Hotel at the Mandalay Bay resort. Not bad for a society girl from San Angel. Let's see Paris Hilton make a demiglace. Anyway, Elia, we still wish you had used tequila or rum for the flambé challenge, but we forgive you and wish you luck with the rest of the season.