Amuse-Biatch Heterosexual Monday: José Feliciano May Be Blind, But Even He Can See That Jarocha Salma Hayek Is Wishing Us, “¡Feliz Navidad!”

Chicago Sighting: I Saw a Man, He Dined with His Wives

Ah, possums, Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town, where the man sighted (LTH Forum via The Chicago Reader) was none other than Marcel Vigneron. The three women with him were not his wives ("Wrong gender, dude!"): Sandee Birdsong, Josie Smith-Malave, and Tiffani Faison. Holy Lesbian Triple Threat!

According to the sighting, Marcel and the Dreamgirls were spotted last Friday at Frontera Grill "with stage makeup on." Furthermore, Marcel "is growing some type of weird Abe Lincoln meets Hobbit-type beard." (There's a joke in there, possums, about Marcel, three lesbians, and beards, but "Marcel is gay" jokes are trop last season for us, and so we desist.) At any rate, what this means, possums, is that it looks as if Season 4 has already begun filming, well before next week's Chicago-based live reveal. If any of you Chicagoan possums catch sight of a stray cheftestant or two, wield those cell-phone cameras and drop us a line.

Mexican Spitfire Spits Tacks

As much as we understand the compunction or need for reality television to reduce contestants to a bite-size, easily digestible appellation for the ease of television viewers, it does bother us that the shorthand is often lazy and stereotypical and sometimes borders on the racist or offensive (e.g., Frankie the Bull).

For example, it irks us that the Bravo bio describes Carlos as "a handsome and zealous Cuban with a flair for cooking and a passion for life," and Elia herself as a "Latin firecracker."

A "positive" stereotype is not always a blessing, and can be just as limiting as a negative stereotype. God help the Latin who doesn't go in for passion or the gay who can't decorate. But lest we get too preachy, let's talk about Elia, who isn't exactly Lupe "Mexican Spitfire" Velez.
Her full name is Elia Aboumrad Harfuch, and, like Salma Hayek and Shakira, she is of Middle Eastern heritage. (There is a large and prosperous Lebanese community in Mexico, where they made an important contribution to the country's cuisine by turning the shawarma into the emblematic Mexico City dish, the perfect late-night on-the-run treat, tacos al pastor).

Elia's parents appear frequently in the society pages in Mexico, throwing Arab-themed dinners in their mansion in Pedregal de San Angel, the Bel Air of Mexico City, appearing at French Embassy shindigs, theater openings, and society weddings. This isn't exactly someone who learnt cooking at her family's taquería.

As she told Mexican daily El Universal last year, "Everything began three years ago when I left home to go study in Paris. Since I've always liked cooking, I planned to take a six-month course at Lenôtre, a school that, among other things, has the greatest number of Meilleurs Ouvriers de France winners (the highest title a French chef achieve)." She didn't know much about gastronomy, and so enrolled in a special course for people starting from scratch. She went on to take courses in pastry-making, ice cream-making, ice and sugar sculpture, and chocolate-making. She then worked for Joël Robuchon in Paris.

The article was published two weeks before Elia was to travel to Las Vegas to become the first woman, and only Mexican, to occupy the post of sous-chef at L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon, a matter of considerable pride. And now she works for Alain Ducasse at the Hotel at the Mandalay Bay resort. Not bad for a society girl from San Angel. Let's see Paris Hilton make a demiglace. Anyway, Elia, we still wish you had used tequila or rum for the flambé challenge, but we forgive you and wish you luck with the rest of the season.