Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Who Could Have Gotten the Chola Sent Home? Could It Be...Seitan?

Possum Sighting: Nimma Osman Has a Job!

Possums, we got a note from faithful Amuse-Biatch reader Ryan (not that Ryan, obviously), who had a sighting to share with us:

While in Atlanta this past weekend we ate at our favorite breakfast spot Sun In My Belly (Kirkwood). Who should we see cooking but Top Chef contestant Nimma...remember her?

Indeed we do, Ryan, indeed we do. At any rate, we are glad to hear she is gainfully employed, as we had heard that she left her previous position a bit dramatically. If you'll pardon our lapse into the vulgate, it always sucks to be the first one kicked off. Perhaps Bravo could take a page from Tyra Banks and give the "firsties," Suyai, Clay, Nimma, and what's 'is name from Season 1, a chance at redemption.

At any rate, our thanks to Ryan for sending in the sighting. Please feel free to follow his example (pics much appreciated, bien sûr). And of course if you have yearbook photos of any of the cheftestants, you just know we'd love to hear from you.

And the Abbie Goes to....

Possums, what with the writers’ strike this year, we felt deprived—deprived! we tell you—of our yearly dose of meaningless awards. To remedy that problem, we have decided to create our own. And so, Amuse-Biatch (i.e., “A-B”) presents the inaugural handing out of the Abbies.

Awards will be handed out on a weekly basis, and the winners will each receive a Golden Possum (well, as soon as we can catch one and spray-paint it gold).

We encourage you, possums, to submit nominations for future awards, and will post the best ones. And so, without further ado (drumroll, please).

*Best Argument for Banning Meth Use During Pregnancy and Outlawing Exposure to Hip Hop and Hispanics for White Boys in Their Formative Years: Andrew “Casa, Motherfuckers. Oh What Phatness!” D’Ambrosi



















*Best Repeated Use of Editing Cut to a Black Muslim Woman to Show Just How Shocking—Shocking!—a Lesbian Relationship Is, with the Hope That Said Black Muslim Woman Will Say Something About Allah and Sodomites to Create Drama on Season’s First Episode: Bravo Editors (Sergei Eisenstein would be proud!)

*Best Use of Subliminal Advertising: The moment when, after being dressed down by the judges, Nimma Osman was shown sitting against the wall of Glad products while saying, off-camera, “There’s people that are glad that it’s over with….” Bravo, hast thou no shame?














*Best Use of Artfully Disheveled Hair by a Previously Disgraced and Overcoiffed Chef Who, Accused of Being a Little Light in His Kitchen Clogs, Seeks to Combat Rumors by Butching It Up: Rocco DiSpirito.

To which Miss XaXa said, “Seriously. It’s like he wanted to convince people with that hair that the pizza delivery had caught him in the middle of topping Padma’s deep dish. As if.”

*Best Former Culinary Bad Boy Defanged by Wife and Child: Anthony Bore-dain

*Best Use of Potato-Dumpling Metaphor by Pot to Call Kettle Black: Pretty boy Rocco DiSpirito, for saying of pretty boy Ryan Scott, “It’s not just his gnocchi that were dense.” Aw snap! (Or should it be, Aw two snaps?)

To which Miss XaXa said, “Why don't you just call it the Hate-Fuck of the Week Award?”

*Best Shaggy-Haired Mentor Who Won’t Get Off a Chef’s Back (And Yes, Rocco Is Disqualified): The Yoda backpack sported by Stephanie Izard.

What's Repast Is Repast, and We Shall See Her Nimma (Well, Except Perhaps on the Reunion Show)