Monday, October 01, 2007

Besos and Breakfast at Tiffani's?

Deep in our pal Lesley's in-depth Eater LA report on the American Wine & Food Fest in Los Angeles lies a little tidbit, buried like a bit of Cabrales inside a bacon-wrapped date, that caught our attention, a brief mention of possible Top Chef Sapphic love:

At the [Todd English at Olives] table was Chef Katie, who we're told might be an opening chef of Beso. Fun fact: She won PBS' Top Chef-like Cooking Under Fire, hosted by English. Katie's rumored to be dating Tiffany, Season 1 runner up of Top Chef. Tiffany spotted in crowd on Saturday. Full circle.

Now, possums, let's unpack this a little bit. First, in addition to hosting the PBS show, Todd English, the renowned and famously attractive chef from Boston, is one of the tasting judges on Wednesday's finale of Top Chef. Beso (which means "kiss" in Spanish) is the L.A. restaurant in which Eva Longoria is said to have some involvement. Katie is Katie Hagan-Whelchel, and Tiffani "I'm not your bitch, bitch" Faison needs no introduction to Top Chef fans.

Once upon a time, and a very long time it was, we were named an honorary lesbian, and at that time, we no doubt would already have been au courant. Alas, times have changed, and so we did a little work.

We turned, naturally, to Tiffani's MySpace page, and look what we found.

Tiffani lists herself as a lesbian (we remember her once calling herself a bisexual, and referring to a boyfriend with whom she made Krispy Kreme bread pudding, but we suppose she has seen the error of her ways), and lists herself as being "in a relationship." Very interesting.

One of her "top four" friends is "Katie," who looks an awful lot like Katie Hagan-Whelchel (KHW), and who, like KHW, hails from Louisville, Kentucky. And wouldn't you know it? "Katie" also lists herself as a lesbian and as being "in a relationship." And the self-same Katie left a message on Tiffani's page on September 14 that reads, "you are the sexiest rilla ever."

We very nearly blushed when we read that. It's so...well, sweet, and the thought of Tiffani happily in love tickles us pink. If Dale Levitski's theory of sex and food is correct, just think of how much better Tiffani's already superb cooking must be.


There is one thing that worries. It's that "rilla" reference. We haven't the benefit of Alice Pieszecki's expertise, but we hope it's not short for "gorilla" and that it doesn't refer to hirsuteness. Remember, lesbian soeurs, just because you follow the siren call of Sappho need not mean that Nair is not your friend. Think about it.

At any rate, if it's true, we wish the happy couple much love and much cooking in Martika's kitchen.


Anonymous said...

Tiffany posted a comment about Katie's photo on Myspace:

August 21, 2007 10:48 AM
I love you RILLA!!!!!

The Big Shamu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CRShark said...

SeƱor Charlus, carissimo, I bet "rilla" is their sapphic sobriquet for "gorilla", but not because of anyone's unfortunate Robin Williams Issues. No, I think it's a refernce to the old knock-knock joke:


"Who's there?"


"Gorilla who?"

"You're the GORILLA my dreams!"

Thank you, I'm here all week! Try the veal.

ArtfulSub said...

According to the dictionary of slang, a "rilla" is a loud boisterous (usually) uncouth older female.

"I don't mind my Father-In-Law but my Mother-in-Law is a rilla."

Might have NOTHING to do with Tiff's definition. Or it might be sort of a joke between them.

Charlus said...

Thanks, Artful, but being a reader of Sarah Waters and thus a sucker for sizzling Sapphic love (and ghastly puns), I'm going to go with Mademoiselle Requin on this one. Gorilla of my dreams it is. And Mademoiselle Requin, cara, you are welcome to open mic night whenever you want. However, if you must have the veal, I suggest that it be appropriately tonnato, if you catch my drift.

The Big Shamu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aqua said...


10 days late. Tiffany's profile is now set to private.