Showing posts with label Gay Divorcee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gay Divorcee. Show all posts

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Is Padma Lakshmi an "Adorable High-School Outcast Who Avenged [Herself] on the Heathers of the World by Becoming Famous for Something, Sort Of"?











That is what The New York Times appears to suggest, in an article by Guy Trebay analyzing the front-row attendees at Marc Jacobs' fashion show. As pictured in the Times, Padma was there on Monday night, sitting next to hip-hop impresario Russell Simmons.

(And again, where the hell is his right hand? Why is everyone so handsy with Padma? Not that we disapprove. Far from it. We love merry widows and gay divorcées.)

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Padma Lakshmi Stalker Alert: Salman's Joy's Got Nuts After Her Mounds






















Oh possums, as if the stresses of not blogging and of getting her hair done weren't enough, now comes news that Padma Lakshmi has yet another thing to worry her.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, “rocker” Cisco Adler reveals that he has the blueballs for Padma:

What TV do you watch?
I'm a Seinfeld guy. And I was a diehard Law and Order fan for years. I'm a reality junkie. I'm sorry all you cut-rate actors, it's just better TV! I'm kind of into Hell's Kitchen, and totally into America's Next Top Model, just to look for my next girlfriend. They gotta be making their way to L.A. after the show wraps, right? And I love Top Chef. Whoever that hostess is, she's the hottest girl ever!

That would be Padma Lakshmi, who recently announced she's divorcing her husband, Salman Rushdie.
Padma, call me up, baby!

“Call me up, baby”?!? Well, he’s got big balls; we'll give him that.

And we do mean big. For those readers who are too genteel to be acquainted with Perez Hilton, let us explain that Cisco Adler is best known for having dated Mischa Barton and for suffering from what must be elephantiasis.

That's alright, possums, don't mind us. We'll wait 30 seconds while you Google "Cisco Adler + big balls" and get a good look at the infamous nekkid picture.

Welcome back, o ye of the seared retinas. So, as we were saying, Cisco's got balls. The ballsiest move of all? Letting it slip that Padma would be competing against Tyra's sloppy seconds for his, er, affections. Tsk, tsk. But if that thing with the billionaire that isn't really a thing doesn't work out, here's Padma's opportunity to have a ball.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Should've Seen It: Padma "Smelly Hands" Lakshmi Less Focused on Her Husband Than on Her Cumin

Now, now, possums, settle down.

That headline is more or less a direct quote from a June 2007 Food & Wine article that seems poignant and prescient in retrospect. The article, which we came across by chance this morning, details a dinner party Padma and her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Salman Rushdie, gave in their New York apartment, which Padma herself described as "Paris 1920s opium den meets British Raj meets Turkish caravan."

Padma tells the interviewer that, "There’s a saying in tamil [sic] about good cooks: 'Her hand has a sweet aroma to it.'" The aromatic-handed Padma is seen cooking cumin for a rice pilaf:

Before serving a new recipe to guests, Padma often tests it on her husband, the Mumbai-bred author Salman Rushdie. Rarely unlatching his eyes from his bride of three years, he seems like a clever schoolboy who can’t believe he’s landed the prom queen. At the moment, however, Padma is less focused on her husband than her cumin, which has cooked for too long on the stove. She throws it out and begins preparing the pilaf again from scratch, insisting that "it won’t taste right" otherwise. Rushdie leans in closer, but she’s all business. "Honey, you can watch me," she teases, "but you have to stay out of my light." Rushdie clearly enjoys not only his wife’s cooking—he declares himself an ideal taster—but also her managerial forcefulness.

Oh dear, possums, where do we even begin to unpack this? Well, perhaps, for once, we'll let the material speak for itself, since it's all in there.

Relevant to last week's Bertolli challenge, we discover that "As a young woman, Padma was engaged at one time to an Italian man, whose mother introduced her to classic European cooking techniques and taught her to make the perfect creamy béchamel sauce." Hmmmm, curiouser and curiouser.

And hey, look who's a guest at the dinner party: none other than "chef Eric Ripert of Le Bernardin, who has appeared as a guest judge on Top Chef."

Funny, then, how Ripert's wife, Sonya, had this to say to Gawker:

"I knew the marriage was on the rocks," Sonya said. "We sat next to them during the Beard dinner. Padma was all like, 'What party are we going to hit up next?' and Salman said, 'We're not going to any parties. It's late!'"

Well, possums, as we've said before, with friends like these....

Monday, July 02, 2007

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: What the Well-Dressed Divorcée Will Wear
















Padma Lakshmi, soon to be divorced from Sir Salman Rushdie, in a promotional shot.






















Denise Richards, recently divorced from Charlie Sheen, at the premiere of Ratatouille.

In the immortal words of People, or Us Weekly, or one of those rags we would never admit to reading, Who Wore It Best?