As Self-Proclaimed Asshole Dale Talde Learns, Lesbian-Bitch Karma's a Bitch

So let's get this straight, possums.

Dale Talde--a self-proclaimed asshole who, in his own words, has "no off button," and who, if the testimonials are to be believed, reduces servers to tears and makes them quit--went off on Lisa Fernandes because of her negative attitude? Oh how we cackled with glee.

For, you see, Little Dale was about to learn one of the basic rules of life. Never, ever--and we mean, ever!--piss off a lesbian. Normally gentle creatures, when angered they can hold a grudge--and a softball bat. End result? Broken kneecaps. Dale, Dale, Dale, tsk tsk. Lisa's resemblance to Rosie O'Donnell is no mere coincidence.

But let's be frank, shall we? Dale wasn't angry because of Lisa's "negativity." Pas du tout. Instead, Dale--who is Asian, works at Buddakan, and prides himself on his mastery of Asian cuisine--was out-Asianed by a white chick from Toronto. And Asian Asian-food expert Ming Tsai Tsaid so. As sports fan say, "That's gotta hurt."

So how did this shake out? Let's see. Lisa won the Elimination Challenge, the admiration of Ming Tsai, and an expensive and luxurious trip to Italy. Dale won the Elimination Challenge, and a Top Chef football jersey and a gas grill for his New York apartment. Need we say more? We hope you've learned your lesson, Dale.

Long Island Tease: Ilan Hall's Mother's Employer Would Have You Believe Geography Is Destiny

Listen up, possums.

Newsday, the Long Island, New York, newspaper that employs Ilan Hall's mother, has a little civic-pride theory: In order to win Top Chef, you have to be from Long Island.

Or, perhaps more defensibly, Long Island is the cradle of top chefs, as opposed to suburban ennui, caricatured accents, Rosie O'Donnell, and higher incidences of cancer.

The newspaper notes that Long Island is "two-for-two" as regards Top Chef wins, "what with Harold Dieterle of West Babylon and Ilan Hall of Great Neck" having taken the title in the first and second seasons, respectively (and don't they sound like knights?).

Those Long Island towns certainly seem to have great names, so we were a tad disappointed when informed that Joey Paulino--who, by Newsday's logic, should rightfully be the next Top Chef winner--hails not from the hamlet of No Neck, but, rather, from some place called Franklin Square.

We suppose, then, that it doesn't look good for Hung Huynh of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, where, aptly enough, Moby-Dick was written.

Butch(er) Knife: Rosie O'Donnell Shows Marcel Vigneron That She is a Woman of Steel